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All Hail! All Hail! America The Golden! (Free verse) by Edna Sweetlove
here’s a little paean of gentle mockery to all you low-life yankee oiks pizza-chewing loud-mouthed badly-dressed uneducated unsophisticated fascist ignorant rednecked fatsos stay on your fucking side of the fucking grey atlantic the side you stole from the red indians when we bunged you out of europe mainly because you were superfluous to humanity’s requirements as ugly work-shirking no-hopers thieves and felons in need of a bloody good transportation stay in your ill-furnished apartments and soiled trailer trash camps drinking sweetened vomit cola stuffing slimy burgers down your fat throats wrapped in your foul loathsome flag full of pride and stolen money and oil self-satisfied and moronic playing children's games stolen from europe but dressed up like freaks with baseball hats and pathetic padding as you’re scared of getting hurt and running home for a greasy lump of overweight mommy’s shop-bought apple pies wrapped in a kosher old glory paper bag before flopping down to watch fox news what a load of fascist piss you vicious stinking warmongers imposers of your hideous societal hegemony on decent civilisation gobblers of talentless hollywood garbage stick to doing what you do best namely invading helpless countries bombing starving children to bits and taking nice instant photos to show to your mentally defective friends losing wars whenever you get half a chance and saluting your noisome ensign as your sons’ and daughters’ decimated bits and pieces get shipped home in rancid stars ‘n’ stripes garbage bags to some ugly dirge which spouts a load of sentimental hogwash about the land of the fucking free which gives us a good snigger don't you know the whole world wants to puke hugely when it hears the very stinking word american dancing in the streets with joy at every yank killed by allahs hand pardon me whilst I have an exciting involuntary attack of diarrhoea pumping shit out on your patriotism and farting on your so called veterans’ graves lying under well-deserved six feet of soil turning back into wholesome manure which at least is something I suppose don't let anyone forget your greatest contribution to the world oh yes the fact that you have the right to bear arms and how much everyone loves it when a few more overweight worthless yankee doodles in some nasty backwoods shithouse in your pioneer nation blow each others' ugly fat unwashed balls off or knock a hole or two in their droopy gross tits and empty under-educated fat heads so go and read your silly long-winded constitution to the nignogs down south swimming in their flooded new orleans hovels which no one cares about as they’re only sons of slaves without much cash and see how they like that and don’t you just know it but they hate your fat white guts reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaalllllllll gooooood and their street killings and crime let you know that and the fact that you keep frying them in the electric chair or giving them refreshing tasty cocktails of lethal injections while the revengers watch with a sneer and singing songs outside the prison as ill-defended poor blacks die in fucking agony makes them like you even less but at least they can play baseball for you and you stupidly have renamed them african-americans in the puerile hope that will make them hate y’all less but it won’t so wake up baby wake up and as for your george washington he was just a traitor and prize cunt but not as thick as abey lincoln who couldn't even go to the theatre (note the correct spelling, anusfaces) without getting a bullet in his useless guts which he deserved after spouting a load of pompous hypocritical garbage which you pretentiously and piously call the gettysburg addresss (a bit jewish sounding that) but actually is a piece of shit and then you did the world a favour (note the fucking correct spelling you load of cockheads) and had a civil war which reduced your ranks by insufficient numbers in my book so stay in your land of the brave and the free because you're not wanted anywhere else except as a fucking laughing stock to be mocked for laughable bad taste illiteracy stupidity and ugliness and then to be most amusingly ripped off fucking wholesale as ignorant rubber-necking tourists who couldn’t tell a turd from a piece of shit which shows there is after all is fucking well said and done a bit of justice in the world and I never even used a fullstop which you dickheads call a period being as thick as two short planks jesus wept you make me want to go and drop a sodding bomb on your loathsome overweight country and laugh as you perish gurgling and drowning in your own greed and the toilet excretions and shite which you regard as your culture was there ever a nation which more richly deserved a fucking nuclear blast to wipe out its foulness and filth which is a blot upon infinity but oh dear I forget about religion what a fucking shame what an oversight well everyone knows god will bless america and he certainly did you proud on nine-eleven maybe he got pissed off at the bollocks which his crazy baptist followers blether on about creationism and intelligent design why (for christ’s fucking sake) if the design were in the tiniest bit intelligent which it’s not the u s of a would be shoved half way up the holy godlike bumhole and covered in sacred shit and you even call lavatories bathrooms being utterly fucking terminally dim and perpetually in the land of the euphemism so why don’t you good folks go have a real nice day it’s been a real privilege to know you gee yeah and thank you so much for sharing and wow what a meaningful godgiven talent y’all surely do have yeah man I gotta go now to before I throw up on my giggling keyboard bye bye folks

Up the ladder: Sunset Hands
Down the ladder: Dust

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.857143
Weighted score: 6.857143
Overall Rank: 388
Posted: June 21, 2006 3:51 AM PDT; Last modified: June 21, 2006 3:51 AM PDT
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cpill, Engelbert Humpalot

[n/a] Edna Sweetlove @ | 21-Jun-06/3:52 AM | Reply
For the less intelligent among you (and he knows who he is) this is satire.
[0] ALChemy @ > Edna Sweetlove | 25-Jun-06/6:29 AM | Reply
Everything you write is a satire of yourself.
[9] lmp @ | 21-Jun-06/6:49 AM | Reply
it is a "loo" or a "watercloset", you dung encrusted farthole. a lavatory is a handwashing sink.

otherwise, i totally agree with your... poem? sadly, my passport says i am american but i am none of the perfectly described things you listed here. those are the people who elected the hairy bush.

bravo. funny you omitted the part about how old george (i mean king george) wanted to hang onto those uncouth colonies... he sure did want all the timber. sadly, the very bastards that were transported trounced the silly stiffnecked redcoats soundly enough to send them packing their heds up their asses before they hopped back across the grey atlantic. (notice the correct spelling of grey).
[9] lmp @ > lmp | 21-Jun-06/6:52 AM | Reply
[n/a] Edna Sweetlove @ > lmp | 28-Aug-06/1:16 AM | Reply
Yes I found that quite illuminating. The only origin I knew of what "gardez l'eau"; the others sound equally possible. PS the lavatory is the shit-house in English.
[0] ALChemy @ | 24-Jun-06/12:05 PM | Reply
Oh poor old mad English poet.
You wish for the days of yore
when the world spat at your name
and called your queen a whore.
But alas your torch has been passed
to a younger more vibrant shore
as your empire rots away like your teeth
and the world now thinks you're a bore.
[n/a] Stephen Robins @ > ALChemy | 25-Jul-06/4:06 AM | Reply
Who is that? China?

America is quite the most detestable country in the whole world.
[10] Engelbert Humpalot @ | 10-Aug-06/10:05 AM | Reply
Malicious genius!
[10] Sing4Jesus! @ | 23-Aug-06/9:47 AM | Reply
Jesus farts for you!
[10] deleted user @ | 16-Jan-07/6:05 PM | Reply
Fucking brilliant - you are a clever cunt
[10] mr cunt @ | 25-Feb-07/6:45 PM | Reply
Fuck those yankee cunts! Ship the cunts home in a body bag!
[0] deleted user @ | 8-Mar-07/9:17 AM | Reply
[10] Engelbert Humpalot @ > deleted user | 7-Oct-07/9:57 AM | Reply
shut your face, you cunt.
[n/a] deleted user @ | 12-Mar-07/11:53 AM | Reply
Too liberal for me.You must be a commie.
[10] Engelbert Humpalot @ | 7-Oct-07/9:57 AM | Reply
This brings a new meaning to that old cliché, the special relationship.
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