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Divorcing Tennessee (Free verse) by Dovina
For lack of support and too little love, you divorce Tennessee and go to one who is handsomer, wealthier and warmer, such as San Luis Obispo, and next summer you write a letter back to Gainesboro, all about your new life, a new religion that isn't based on guilt and ritual! no! it's based on mutual respect, a willingness to explore our spirituality, and you write all about your new friends, your inquiring intellect and your success, and tell them you made a rational move, and all is well for a while, til October rolls around, and you miss the delicious sadness of fall, the blazing yellow poplars, and oaks turning red, the smell of potatoes, wood smoke, and rotting logs. Having lost October, you've become an occupant of a house, a credit-card holder, an insuree, a face on a driver's license, and devoutly wish for someone in rolled-up shirtsleeves, to whom you can bring lemonade, while he stops the chainsaw for a few minutes, or that a giant earthquake would hurl you into the Pacific.

Up the ladder: Sour Apple
Down the ladder: Ode to a Red Trashcan

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 169
.. 50
.. 31
.. 20
.. 20
.. 10
.. 20
.. 10
.. 00
.. 42
.. 33

Arithmetic Mean: 6.9444447
Weighted score: 6.9444437
Overall Rank: 173
Posted: July 17, 2004 11:49 AM PDT; Last modified: July 17, 2004 11:49 AM PDT
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The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

Been Here Before, wilco, Niphredil, ay deee

Comments:
[10] wilco @ 66.162.22.123 | 17-Jul-04/3:15 PM | Reply
Captured perfectly and beautifully.
[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > wilco | 17-Jul-04/3:42 PM | Reply
Thank, I really miss it there.
[5] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 80.42.89.53 | 17-Jul-04/4:44 PM | Reply
In High Wycombe, there is a fast food restaurant called Tennessee Fried Chicken. The most hilarious joke you can do, I you're feeling bored on a Saturday night, is to go in there and ask for directions to Kentucky Fried Chicken. Or so I am told.
[n/a] titan69 @ 213.48.172.3 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 18-Jul-04/1:41 AM | Reply
Dave i know high wycombe
Some years ago i ust to deliver goods to Argos
up at the cresex ind est
I went in the swan the gate and of corse the hobgoblin.
and had a dona from one of those vans on the high street.
good memorys
[5] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 80.42.90.249 > titan69 | 18-Jul-04/2:26 PM | Reply
That's amazing. I was in the Hobgoblin only last night.
[10] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 17-Jul-04/6:08 PM | Reply
I surf Dana Point... Go Killer Dana! Fuck the red triangle though; too cold up there.
[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > horus8 | 18-Jul-04/10:52 AM | Reply
Thanks for the advice, but I'm still trying to get beyond the breakers at Long Beach.
[6] Prince of Void @ 217.218.131.132 | 18-Jul-04/2:39 PM | Reply
that was good
[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > Prince of Void | 18-Jul-04/2:59 PM | Reply
Thank you, but why 6?
[10] zodiac @ 217.23.37.85 | 19-Jul-04/3:15 AM | Reply
After reading this poem, I find it hard to believe you know how to speak correctly, to say nothing of writing correctly.

Or else you've decided for some reason beyond my comprehension that written English follows entirely different rules from spoken English in terms of sense, syntax and whatnot - thusly indelibly marking yourself as the worst kind of dim.
[10] wilco @ 66.162.22.123 > zodiac | 19-Jul-04/9:41 AM | Reply
You've already been amongst the arabs too long. You've forgotten how to read, poor thing.

You're kind of becoming Zodiac Hussein. Poemrankers tyrannical, structural dictator. I suppose that we must have one though. So, watch yourself over there and don't get kidnapped. You know they will anally rape you while making you read thousands of pages of unstructured, misspelled muslim poetry in a mixture of broken English and...and...that habadibadobi stuff that they speak over there.

P.s. - Is syntax not the sexiest word ever?
[10] zodiac @ 217.23.37.85 > wilco | 21-Jul-04/7:26 AM | Reply
What silliness is this??? I'm not even talking about "structuralism", or any such thing! That's just what illiterates scream on poemranker when someone bothers to point that they can't put two words together in a meaningful fashion.

The rest of your comment has a serious case of dim.

PS-No.
[10] Dan garcia-Black @ 66.159.232.247 | 19-Jul-04/8:29 AM | Reply
Yeah, but who got custody of the kids and the calves? I've never divorced a place but now I have an idea of how it might feel. -10-
Don't listen to Z. He's an enigma trapped within a foil condom wrapper being nuked in a microwave oven and arcing all over the small cooking space. Let's just watch the fireworks through the window and shout, "Whoopee! Burn, Baby, burn!" Then we can flush him down the john and make some lowfat popcorn, cover it with melted butter and watch "Fried Green Tomatoes and Akira Kurasawa's "Dreams" back to back.
[10] wilco @ 66.162.22.123 > Dan garcia-Black | 19-Jul-04/9:33 AM | Reply
God, I hate condoms. I just have to mention that any time someone mentions them.
[10] Dan garcia-Black @ 66.159.232.247 > wilco | 19-Jul-04/9:56 AM | Reply
Some of the gay guys with whom I work tell me that condoms taste like escargot when sautéed in butter and garlic with a large baguette on the side. You may not hate them if try them that way. I prefer a tongue taco instead. JK, W. Oh, I almost forgot. Get a ribbed condom, turn it inside out and then put it on. Wow, those ribs rock.
[10] wilco @ 66.162.22.123 > Dan garcia-Black | 19-Jul-04/10:03 AM | Reply
lol.
[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > Dan garcia-Black | 19-Jul-04/9:57 AM | Reply
The calves are part of the kids who ate them and at least one of the kids lacks custody and filanders in nightclubs. Thanks.
[9] Venus @ 67.165.242.105 | 29-Jul-04/1:25 AM | Reply
You've captured the "spirit" of that mess perfectly.
[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 > Venus | 30-Jul-04/6:40 PM | Reply
Thanks, I think, depending on what mess you mean.
[10] steven adams @ 147.226.166.161 | 14-Oct-04/2:33 PM | Reply
The poem is wonderful. I am happy that you wrote this poem rather than thinking about some of these pointless comments.
[n/a] Dovina @ 24.52.156.155 > steven adams | 14-Oct-04/3:36 PM | Reply
Thank you.
[10] Joshua_Tree @ 68.230.105.101 | 28-Jun-05/12:15 PM | Reply
I would rather read the poem than the criticism, so I'll not join any existing fracas below. You have made up words, used an unnecessary archaism, butchered punctuation, thrown capitalization completely out the penthouse window... and it was worth it.

The poem reads, at least to someone who has never been to Tennessee, like it was written by someone from Tennessee, or rather that these were the raw thoughts of the person failing to assure themselves of their decision.

I love the beauty and artistry of the language as much as anyone, but I also love its flexibility. Someone with the skill for expression should be allowed to make the determination for themselves whether to use formal or free flowing styles to reflect their subject matter. Any elitist to say otherwise can go to Barstow as far as I'm concerned.
[9] Quarton @ 12.217.202.34 | 17-Sep-05/8:13 PM | Reply
A good narrative poem that tells a story. Tennessee is
a beautiful state and probably more laid back than most. This is indicated by your poem.
[n/a] Dovina @ 24.59.205.78 > Quarton | 22-Sep-05/2:18 PM | Reply
That it is. The hill country of middle Tennessee can grab hold on you after a few months there.
[10] deleted user @ 204.97.18.217 | 24-Nov-05/9:41 PM | Reply
A great poem about loss. I live in the north east and can identify with "the delicious sadness of fall." Good job!
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > deleted user | 25-Nov-05/11:34 AM | Reply
Fall's about ended there I imagine. Time for the morning diamonds, sparkling.
[9] Caducus @ 172.214.152.39 | 1-Dec-05/3:15 AM | Reply
Its very good, focused but i think the meter could be more controlled you do a me three years ago with the odd verbose line.

Imaginative and one of your best.
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 > Caducus | 1-Dec-05/1:41 PM | Reply
I think you said I did a you three years ago. I don’t know about that, but I did a me 1.5 years ago. Today, I’d either call it a prose poem or make it less verbose with better meter.
[10] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 | 30-Dec-05/2:06 PM | Reply
ugh. hope i don't ever go there. ;p
i know i will live and die where ya get changes of seasons, too.
[7] PoeticXTC @ 205.188.116.139 | 5-Jan-06/11:01 AM | Reply
I'm not from the south so I couldn't relate. But just through your description it's as if I was there and I knew all about it.
[10] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 | 9-Feb-06/10:10 PM | Reply
Dovina, I think I have read this earlier. I might not have appreciated this much...more because I am not familiar with the American setting. but now it makes more sense to me. It is written from the heart and gives a sense of wanting it back. I think I owe you a 10 for this.... and I'm glad I didn't vote earlier.
[9] faithmairee @ 209.240.205.61 | 12-Mar-06/1:27 PM | Reply
i like poems that tell a story and this one was very good. I enjoyed it alot.
[8] Sunny @ 66.69.36.222 | 30-Mar-06/7:16 PM | Reply
I had to see what all the hype was about, jk! No, I actually wanted to read some of your writings since you have been so observant & helpful to me in my own. You were tight in a lot of lines, but I couldn't help but have a problem with all the "you's". Yes, I will through in one once in a while for effect, but they run rampant over this piece. I am not the one missing Tennessee, & I am not the one wanting to smell wood smoke afterall...you are. What made me vote the way I did, your clarity in theme, staying tightly to your theme & I did like the examples of what you missed about your home; you were able to "show the reader, not tell". You know that no-no in poetry. Interesting read overall Dovina.

~Sunny
[n/a] Dovina @ 70.38.78.229 > Sunny | 30-Mar-06/7:25 PM | Reply
I know the categorical “you”’s are many. They really mean “I” as you know. But saying “I” all the time would have given the poem a personal character that I didn’t entirely want. Using “you” projects my feelings about divorcing Tennessee onto the audience, as if the same feelings might come to them if they had had this experience. You could call that approach didactic, I suppose. But I think it can work well. Not saying I totally succeeded. Thanks for the comment.
[1] Edna Sweetlove @ 81.178.117.218 | 15-May-06/4:45 PM | Reply
Not good. Parochial rubbish in fact.
[3] Engelbert Humpalot @ 194.154.22.54 | 10-Aug-06/10:20 AM | Reply
Slop.
[1] Sing4Jesus! @ 87.80.134.60 | 23-Aug-06/10:01 AM | Reply
Jesus wee-wees on this!
[0] mr cunt @ 85.210.220.79 | 5-Mar-07/3:13 AM | Reply
I was recommended to read your poems by Rockmage and having struggled through this, he is totall correct. You are a cunt.
[n/a] Jill Stockinger @ 127.0.0.1 | 21-Dec-20/6:41 PM | Reply
well written, great imagery
[n/a] Dovina @ 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 > Jill Stockinger | 21-Dec-20/7:01 PM | Reply
Thanks Jill, nice to find someone here with nentwined and me after too long silence. I hope you stay awhile.
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