double meh.

odd. I think better than a lot of your stuff simply through obfuscation and length.

a little less pretension could help this.

As ethnic as a turban at a cab stand.

This isn't very well written, but maybe I couldn't do better in your circumstance.

I see you changed the ending, and the rest seems all different too. "perfect and peculiar us" is very nice.

nice!! reminds me of one of my own

please, please, please learn how to pluralize words and what apostrophes are for! flow is awkward, concept overdone without anything to really sell it. why free verse with random line breaks when you go to such trouble to rhyme every "sentence"?

a rambling rant, awkward flow, nothing new. try painting the picture of the person and situation that is causing these words to spew forth. make us feel the words instead of just throwing them out.

A pickle in a skirt.

Ahhhh...

I once buggered an otter named Luke.

'taint bad, but 'taint begging for a publishing neither.

If you think that beginning each of your tawdry blasphemous stanzas with the ACE line "beneath the undertow" makes this poem anymore tolerable, you're right! Asshat. Let's do it for the planet guys!!! What the fuck?!

A crouton in a maelstrom.

I especially like the last verse.. Good work here..

nice story

nice flow and good rhymes and good story

we're a small country.we dont have scenery or whatever. the only thing we're proud of is our country's cleanliness.Its really clean though

Would you agree that the song "Driftwood" by Travis is the most insidious and unnecessarily popular song ever?