Nice work.

Christ...

Yes, I clearly see his crippled maw.

The lines 1-4 set up an expectation of a certain rhythm. And then lines 5-10 use a different rhythm. It all makes the poem difficult to read. I would at least split it into two verses. 'all are we' at the end is an inversion purely to make the poem rhyme. Such behaviour is very wrong. Playing with peoples expectations of where rhymes are to be can work very well. But you must beware that it does not always work. Rather than talking of fascists as you giving the definitive statement it would be better if a character in the poem was saying it. Telling us with your first two lines about fascists (in trees under logs) makes you sound kind of paranoid.

Ok bro. You're so fucking close!!!!!!!! Line 4 (absent) is too fast a word Line 8 is one beat off. There are no other problems that I can hear. I'm gonna slap you with a ten 'cos I know how hard it is to fix details like these.

'feel the shame' about vomitting seems a bit over the top. If getting pissed is cool then so is vomitting it back up again. Also 'now you lay in the flame' seems an odd line to use. It would probably be more meaningful if you were talking about a drink it is traditional to set fire to and drink. Just a thought.

'Nothing earned, and nothing gained' is a bit of a wasted line. The initials bit is cliche. Other than that well written, sounds great.

'I wash my face/ and water splash' means you wash a water splash. Punctuation needed methinks.

An intriguing poem at least. Nothing completely wonderful about it. *6*

The final stanza is probably the best final stanza about metaphorical butterflies I have read this month. *9*

The awkwardness of this poem's pace, and the fact that there are so many mispellings and unnecessary verbage, downgrades its potential. *5*

Is this about bulimia? I don't get it. *7*

Not terrible. *8*

I like the use many pronouns that make the meaning of the poem seem ambiguous at first. It took me a couple of reads to "get it." Cool.

I am so sick of this site. Fine, if I get a 2 I won't complain for myself, but stop giving dribbling shit like this 10s.

The repeating words are straining you

Since I know this poem is supposed to mean something, and I don't know what it is, you get the 8 of ambiguity

Very interesting use of form

Take out the line breaks and tell it to the bartender

Your spanish is bad. Sorry.