poemranker ::On Youth Revisited by vulcan

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Free verse № 60070

On Youth Revisited

by vulcan

Member since 2002 · Posted 10 Aug 2003 · Edited 22 Apr 2008 · 6 comments

A breeze comes and goes festively, I wash my face And water, splash! My new face is like a rainbow After a grim shower. Now, methinks I'm younger than before... Behind me is a Door That opens I know Into a chaos Of Nightingales and flow'rs.

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6 comments

[n/a] Don-Quixote 10-Aug-03/3:50 AM Reply
chaos isnt something a vulcan can comprehend.. but a dreamer lives the chaos realm! heh.
[8] http://mulberryfairy 10-Aug-03/7:12 AM Reply
Saying "grim shower" right after you were washing your face made me think you were talking about a (bathing) shower, rather than a rainstorm.
[n/a] richa 2-Nov-04/5:48 AM Reply
'I wash my face/ and water splash' means you wash a water splash. Punctuation needed methinks.
[6] Dovina 2-Nov-04/8:09 PM Reply
"Rainbow after a grim shower" just doesn't work, but neither does the last verse, and "methinks" doesn't fit either. Sorry.
[6] Dan garcia-Black 26-Apr-08/12:23 AM Reply
My new face is...younger than before...a chaos
Of Nightingales and flow'rs.
Yeah. Works for me.
[0] SupremeDreamer 29-Apr-08/3:16 AM Reply
No.