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love your mother: (Free verse) by Sapphire rolling green hills and salty sea sprays
carry me home, take me away
cold deep cracks of mother earths viens
dip in my toes, cast off my
dialy chains
rich warm terra firma to trod
underfoot bliss, ease my day,
onward i plod
Up the ladder:
I smell coffee
Down the ladder:
On Youth Revisited
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.904762
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:12 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:12 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.906475 Overall Rank: 9702 Comments:
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nentwined @
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16-Mar-02/1:21 AM
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Reply
pleasant and I can make sense of it without difficulty (I think)! =) The last three words seem out of place, though -- plodding is tired, unhappy work. if you're trying to mix that in with the appreciation of the earth, I think maybe more could be shown...
hey hey-
i really like the imagery, but where are you going? i don't see where you are going with the whole point of the poem. maybe i'm just dense!
it's just so.... wrong. especially the trod/plod rhyme... ick.
i wonder who's retarded evil twin this is...da..oh..ah..nevermind
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