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The Old Man (Concrete) by spriggan
The old man sleeps in his chair, nightmares ensue, of gloom and despair. Blood-curdling screams and visions of death, so real that he nearly chokes on his breath. The old man stirs in his chair, today his grand-daughter showed him her teddy bear. But those memories melt away, they never last, obliterated by the fearful buzzing of bullets ripping past. The old man is awake in his chair, past trauma renders him unable to care. Insomnia keeps striking the poor afficted soul, his once firm mind is barren, a gaping hole. The old man sits calmly in his chair, the mask on his face is that of a cold, empty stare. Painkillers, his only remedy to pain, poisoning his body as they circulate his veins. The old man tries to stand from his chair, something is wrong, it just isn't fair. A futile attempt, he cries and begs, . . . . . the old man has no arms and legs.

Down the ladder: Benevolent Oasis

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5822
Posted: October 29, 2004 6:06 PM PDT; Last modified: October 29, 2004 6:06 PM PDT
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Comments:
[10] edpeterson @ 68.79.20.59 | 29-Oct-04/8:01 PM | Reply
fucking hilarious. Why is he taking pain killers that poison his body? There are perfectly good painkillers on the market that do not poison the body.

nothing worse than a poor afficted soul, eh? the end line makes it all worth while, and completely stands this motherfucker on its head and redeems it with a broom handle.
[10] edpeterson @ 68.79.20.59 | 29-Oct-04/8:02 PM | Reply
a gaping hole. This is great.
[8] Imago @ 64.8.77.177 | 29-Oct-04/11:06 PM | Reply
Just the last part is concrete. But still a good story.
Chris Reeves would be proud.
[6] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 1-Nov-04/4:30 PM | Reply
Yes, I clearly see his crippled maw.
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