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From Womb To Wood (Free verse) by Caducus
From womb to wood she carried him. From baptism to furnace she cried. Her veil silvers as she grieves. As she’s forced to let him go she tightly holds the string of faith. Pressing palms on the abacus of prayer. Watched by the stained smiling Virgin. But the mother mild cannot look at her. At the wake, the drunken pall bearer is carried out laughing haughtily then sobbing. The donnish Aunt contorts in revulsion as she stubs her fag into a vol-au-vent. Back at home a mother sits in his room, Staring at his shape in a quilted loom. Wearing his Chanel. Pressing her face in to his towel. Wanting to pray but unable too, this disgusts her for God disgusts her and stretched across a scarred stomach She can see he lived, and should never have died.

Down the ladder: All About Mistakes

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Weighted score: 5.6723537
Overall Rank: 2061
Posted: November 26, 2003 12:08 PM PST; Last modified: October 29, 2004 2:24 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.170.78 | 26-Nov-03/1:02 PM | Reply
Very moving stuff. 9.
[9] Dovina @ 24.52.156.155 | 29-Oct-04/11:13 AM | Reply
From the last 3 lines, her son died as a baby. It's a moving picture as is, but, I'd have preferred to know this sooner.
[9] Imago @ 64.8.78.190 | 29-Oct-04/12:35 PM | Reply
Great images. Good conclusion. The last stanza breaks up a little but the last 3 lines redeem it. 9
[9] edpeterson @ 68.79.20.59 | 29-Oct-04/7:49 PM | Reply
I don't think the end redeems anything. He should never have died? hmmmm

I thought it was well conceived and well written until the last few lines... though the entire last stanza is awkward.

[9] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 1-Nov-04/4:27 PM | Reply
Christ...
[9] rahson_s @ 72.68.197.36 | 2-Apr-06/10:27 PM | Reply
I liked this alot..
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