Replying to a comment on:

From Womb To Wood (Free verse) by Caducus

From womb to wood she carried him. From baptism to furnace she cried. Her veil silvers as she grieves. As she’s forced to let him go she tightly holds the string of faith. Pressing palms on the abacus of prayer. Watched by the stained smiling Virgin. But the mother mild cannot look at her. At the wake, the drunken pall bearer is carried out laughing haughtily then sobbing. The donnish Aunt contorts in revulsion as she stubs her fag into a vol-au-vent. Back at home a mother sits in his room, Staring at his shape in a quilted loom. Wearing his Chanel. Pressing her face in to his towel. Wanting to pray but unable too, this disgusts her for God disgusts her and stretched across a scarred stomach She can see he lived, and should never have died.

edpeterson 29-Oct-04/7:49 PM
I don't think the end redeems anything. He should never have died? hmmmm

I thought it was well conceived and well written until the last few lines... though the entire last stanza is awkward.





Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001