seems a bit distant. i like the form and flow, but i don't get any depth of feel for the object of the poem. it might help to expound upon some of her physical features.

Really, this poem is an explanation of the origin of the phrase 'fucking hell'.

Nice. I read this yesterday, unfortunately having spent the day shifting vegetables so the mental image of tender, brave sprouts was hilarious. Now I'm a bit more with it, I can appreciate it.

There's just enough here to show an unclear scene. Only one thing I would omit: "from willful hand," because it's repeat as far as I can tell. You might want to let us in on a little more of what's going on.

I think it would be more compelling and less arogant-sounding, to show this scene from a narrator's viewpoint. Also, the repeating "this man" and "that man" could be just him or he.

I dont particularly like God poems. But this one is good. It reads better if you get rid of "would I call on him" and "quenching" and "torrents of love and grace" IMHO

interesting.

Good grief, Mac - I looked up to see a gathering of 5 users online...4 of which are you! New record, methinks. How's Colorado?

Charming.

This is not a Limerick. And you are illiterate.

Which part of Mr Blessed? His arsehole? Or his face?

I disagree. About as funny as rheumatism.

yuk @ gorgonzola, am more of a mascarpone girl myself.

A greeting card kind of poem. It seems too oversaid to be impressive.

D. Not very impressiveor. I've been reading this many times to come up with something constructive... but some how can't relate to it as you might like...sorry.

This is much better than your previous post. Anybody I know?

Meaningless dribble.

Line 2 seems grammically wrong, otherwise great.

There’s something about a man writing his own story, honestly and as he sees it, that comes across uninteresting. We want the twist of phrase, the poetry, the stimulating possibilities. We don’t want what’s actually there. You gave us poetry with “dark inebriated sleep,” but took, for the most part the known road. Good job.

Beautiful