replying on Dear Willy, from Romeo (Edit) by Sasha
12 May 2004, 5:03 PM
also, I would use Bill instead of Willie..but that's just me.
replying on Dial Tone by cuddlytiger17
12 May 2004, 4:16 PM
You make a valid point, but you have to start somewhere. The problem with most people is that they only work on one thing instead of trying to get better as a whole.
replying on Dial Tone by cuddlytiger17
12 May 2004, 3:52 PM
An expanded vocabulary would not help with making -=Dark_Angel=- like your poetry but it would improve it. I'm not saying that you have to memorize the dictionary. Simply read more poetry to dicover new words and how to use them correctly.
on Dear Willy, from Romeo (Edit) by Sasha
12 May 2004, 3:39 PM
Not bad, but I don't know if you should call this a lyric.
replying on Dial Tone by cuddlytiger17
12 May 2004, 3:37 PM
See below for an example.
on Dial Tone by cuddlytiger17
12 May 2004, 3:34 PM
This is better than the last one of yours that I read. I think you just need to expand your vocabulary a little bit and you'll be okay.
replying on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17
12 May 2004, 12:06 PM
Eloquently worded shit is still shit.
on ...So We Stayed In The Water by Fear of Garbage
11 May 2004, 1:09 PM
Hmmmm, I don't much care for spiders....kind of freaks me out...
on After the ice season ~ shamelessly lewd revision by zodiac
10 May 2004, 7:52 PM
I'm not really seeing anything "shamelessly lewd" here, but it's pretty good.
on Its raining by caitydee
10 May 2004, 7:39 PM
Not enough cursing to really be a pimple....
replying on Its raining by caitydee
10 May 2004, 7:38 PM
What are we firing up? I got some shit the other day that....oh....wait....nevermind...what?
replying on Obituary for the Moon by wilco
10 May 2004, 7:37 PM
Oh, somehow....it works to perfection. I just like saying sloppy slaw.
on selfhood, through extrospection by nentwined
10 May 2004, 7:28 PM
-8- Because introspection is so very overrated.
replying on Obituary for the Moon by wilco
10 May 2004, 7:10 PM
You know what? Sometimes I think that this weighted scoring system is some sloppy slaw. How do I get six 9s, an 8 and a 10 and I still only have a 6.08? Sloppy slaw indeed.
on Don't Let Your Ass Get Hit By the Door by Spindle
10 May 2004, 6:27 PM
Not bad, but for a country & Western song this should really be:
I don't want you 'round here no more
I don't want you 'round here no more
replying on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17
10 May 2004, 1:34 PM
When you ARE a teen it is often hard to think of anything else. Sasha is right, though. You should prepare yourself for the "impolite" criticism regarding poetry of this nature.
on Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT
10 May 2004, 12:49 PM
This is a good one, for shizzle.
on Obituary for the Moon by wilco
10 May 2004, 12:46 PM
I wonder why hypatia changed her name to "Deleted User".....I liked the old name better....