Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Dial Tone (Free verse) by cuddlytiger17
After years of being verbally abused I begin to feel that I’ve been used Sitting here all alone I listen to the dial tone.

Up the ladder: Style
Down the ladder: B r o t h e r

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 11
.. 30
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 11
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.4444447
Weighted score: 5.7222223
Overall Rank: 1885
Posted: May 12, 2004 2:24 PM PDT; Last modified: May 12, 2004 2:24 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[9] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 | 12-May-04/2:38 PM | Reply
This is a lot better! Is this an old one or a new one?
[n/a] cuddlytiger17 @ 64.80.246.226 > Sasha | 12-May-04/3:38 PM | Reply
Thank you, it makes me feel at least a little better to have won your approval lol. :p This one is older than the other ones i have posted on here. None of them are "new" as in i just wrote them the day i posted them, but they're fairly recent. Can i ask what makes this one so different from the others? Why you like this one a lot more than any of the other ones I've posted?
[9] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > cuddlytiger17 | 12-May-04/4:45 PM | Reply
Easy to answer: Less cliché, more original
[7] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 | 12-May-04/3:34 PM | Reply
This is better than the last one of yours that I read. I think you just need to expand your vocabulary a little bit and you'll be okay.
[7] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 > wilco | 12-May-04/3:37 PM | Reply
See below for an example.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 12-May-04/3:36 PM | Reply
Dialysis Tone

After years of being renally refused*
I wish my kidney'd been transfused**
Fil'tring here all alone
I listen to the dialysis tone

lol

* refused a kidney transplant
** by which is meant, transplanted
[n/a] cuddlytiger17 @ 64.80.246.226 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 12-May-04/3:40 PM | Reply
Umm i dont think an expanded vocabulary would make my poems more suitable for you. More like a demented twist involving shit or some other sick subject you seem to be enthralled with...
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > cuddlytiger17 | 12-May-04/3:42 PM | Reply
Please don't swear on poemeranker.
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.155.158 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 12-May-04/6:14 PM | Reply
You confounded clod! -=Dark_Angel=- can't get wings of shame. He practically invented them. And incidentally, just in case you've forgotten, you're the interloper here, not him or any of the rest of us. Please, do sit down. You're bound to only further embarass yourself.
[7] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 > cuddlytiger17 | 12-May-04/3:52 PM | Reply
An expanded vocabulary would not help with making -=Dark_Angel=- like your poetry but it would improve it. I'm not saying that you have to memorize the dictionary. Simply read more poetry to dicover new words and how to use them correctly.
[n/a] cuddlytiger17 @ 64.80.246.251 > wilco | 12-May-04/5:53 PM | Reply
Yes i know, i agree with you nowhereman. I've been working on trying to do so. Thanks for contructive criticism...
[7] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 > cuddlytiger17 | 12-May-04/6:00 PM | Reply
You're very welcome and if you read any of mine (and, of course, I would encourage you to do so), please don't take them as examples of genuinely good poetry.
[n/a] cuddlytiger17 @ 64.80.246.251 > wilco | 12-May-04/6:11 PM | Reply
I have read some of urs lol...
[7] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 > cuddlytiger17 | 12-May-04/6:15 PM | Reply
Oh..I wasn't aware..gracias, then.
[n/a] cuddlytiger17 @ 64.80.246.251 > wilco | 12-May-04/6:25 PM | Reply
de nada senor.
[9] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > cuddlytiger17 | 12-May-04/6:11 PM | Reply
I'd suggest the poetry of John F. Nims as a way to increase your vocabulary and cerebral space.
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.155.158 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 12-May-04/6:10 PM | Reply
No, just a little overexcited at finally being able to Hold Forth on Topics of Public Interest in Polite After-Dinner Discourse. And more than a little late for his bedtime, which has made him grouchy and prone to Faux Pas, the Subtle Markings of Inexperience.
[9] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > zodiac | 12-May-04/8:01 PM | Reply
Ouch

I felt that all the way over here.

Actually I'm just underslept, but I don't think I'm grouchy.

zodiac, I'm insanely curious about something: You praise my translation of Ne me Quitte Pas but subsequently and inexplicably refer to me as inexperienced. Why?
[9] sliver @ 63.190.81.16 | 12-May-04/6:02 PM | Reply
Perhaps you just got tired of being an enabler? Good job.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.252.165 | 12-May-04/6:05 PM | Reply
Suggestion:

Listening to the phone's monotone.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 216.196.147.170 | 21-May-04/11:35 PM | Reply
hmmm...

seems a little lacking of... Something... Like substance, not so much depth more... purpose or drive, but I'm looking for a better word...

Damn it.

Someone able to help me figure what this lacks?

No vote for now.
It lacks excellence.
[n/a] cuddlytiger17 @ 64.80.244.220 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 22-May-04/7:37 PM | Reply
If it lacks excellence then why'd u give it a ten? (Not saying that its excellent, bc i dont really agree with that, but apparently u liked it to an extent...)
245 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001