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Under Blood Oak (Lyric) by horus8
Pin wheels and down time look what they've done to me straw hats and squeezed lime Our time at the Red Sea. Dead fish unite and bridge the slipperiest twilights Collapsing my foresight Yeah, I guess you were right to leave while I slept. Dogwoods and blood oak the strangest of moods here The calmest of tides soak Just why we did come clear. My face in your smooth palms impressioned the white sand I never dared understand How godless we'd demand Us deep in the Red Sea. Stretch limbing dusks' arc The red under your bark And how you left your mark On me, never the seasons... Again, forever, I say good bye To why you ever made me pry That far into you at the Red Sea These blood oaks, they keep me... From you, my love.

Up the ladder: B r o t h e r
Down the ladder: Flesh of Stone

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 113
.. 20
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 02
.. 46

Arithmetic Mean: 5.71875
Weighted score: 5.7180953
Overall Rank: 1895
Posted: October 3, 2003 12:08 PM PDT; Last modified: October 3, 2003 12:08 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 | 3-Oct-03/2:18 PM | Reply
A sad bitter leif Garret
[8] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 | 3-Oct-03/3:25 PM | Reply
I like most of it, but there are a couple parts that I didn't feel completely struck by.

This one being my favorite part...
Stretch limbing dusks' arc
The red under your bark
And how you left your mark
On me, never the seasons...
[10] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 > J.B. Manning | 3-Oct-03/4:34 PM | Reply
Do you know about the dogwood, redsea, jesus connection? If not? no, you wouldn't get it.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.252.72 | 3-Oct-03/5:05 PM | Reply
This is near top-of-your-game stuff. Great tripodal balance you have with the serious/silly/outrageous. thats for you. personally.
[10] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 > INTRANSIT | 3-Oct-03/7:52 PM | Reply
Thank you friend.
[10] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 3-Oct-03/10:31 PM | Reply
Dog wood blossoms have the mark of the nails that bore the weight of Jesus wrists and feet you can see the rusted blood stained blossoms in the shape of the cross.. so the tale goes a drop of blood on the shrub,, red sea exodus to freedom between huge walls of salt water its all very deep< one can be marked before birth the red under the bark skin muscle blood..this is someone very close to him blood line spiritual past life memory,No one makes anyone pry its a primal urge a uncontrolable search of closure the red sea is not very deep in all reality thus the crossing..but limbs at dusk Hmm?Arc under..?Think,,Forget all gods andmark regardless of the season time ,,keeps us all from beloved oaks, willowspalm trees,,are the fish (Sperm)Swimming slippery wonderfull sensual and holy/ The Third Isis>
[9] Freethinker1602 @ 68.48.88.129 | 6-Oct-03/1:39 AM | Reply
and now to rate it. I think it is a piece worthy of praise there for I give you a 9 to bad there can't bea 6, right ;) kidding of course
[9] Freethinker1602 @ 68.48.88.129 | 6-Oct-03/1:40 AM | Reply
hey I'm on AIM at Impishkat
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > Freethinker1602 | 6-Oct-03/3:47 AM | Reply
Are you making a pass out me.
[8] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > horus8 | 16-Oct-03/3:06 PM | Reply
Horus, how many names do you have? Why do you use so many?
[10] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > J.B. Manning | 16-Oct-03/3:37 PM | Reply
5
[10] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > J.B. Manning | 16-Oct-03/3:37 PM | Reply
I write more than one name allows.
[8] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > Bachus | 20-Oct-03/12:46 PM | Reply
Oh, I get it, because of the three poems a week thing. Ok. Good for you then. I wish I had the time to write as freely as I once did.
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