| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Under Blood Oak (Lyric) by horus8 Pin wheels and down time
look what they've done to me
straw hats and squeezed lime
Our time at the Red Sea.
Dead fish unite and bridge
the slipperiest twilights
Collapsing my foresight
Yeah, I guess you were right
to leave while I slept.
Dogwoods and blood oak
the strangest of moods here
The calmest of tides soak
Just why we did come clear.
My face in your smooth palms
impressioned the white sand
I never dared understand
How godless we'd demand
Us deep in the Red Sea.
Stretch limbing dusks' arc
The red under your bark
And how you left your mark
On me, never the seasons...
Again, forever, I say good bye
To why you ever made me pry
That far into you at the Red Sea
These blood oaks, they keep me...
From you, my love.
Up the ladder:
Horror Film
Down the ladder:
Flesh of Stone
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.71875
Posted: October 3, 2003 12:08 PM PDT; Last modified: October 3, 2003 12:08 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.7180953 Overall Rank: 1895 Comments:
[n/a]
Shardik @ 24.126.113.154
|
3-Oct-03/2:18 PM
|
Reply
A sad bitter leif Garret
I like most of it, but there are a couple parts that I didn't feel completely struck by.
This one being my favorite part... Stretch limbing dusks' arc The red under your bark And how you left your mark On me, never the seasons...
Do you know about the dogwood, redsea, jesus connection? If not? no, you wouldn't get it.
This is near top-of-your-game stuff. Great tripodal balance you have with the serious/silly/outrageous. thats for you. personally.
Thank you friend.
Dog wood blossoms have the mark of the nails that bore the weight of Jesus wrists and feet you can see the rusted blood stained blossoms in the shape of the cross.. so the tale goes a drop of blood on the shrub,, red sea exodus to freedom between huge walls of salt water its all very deep< one can be marked before birth the red under the bark skin muscle blood..this is someone very close to him blood line spiritual past life memory,No one makes anyone pry its a primal urge a uncontrolable search of closure the red sea is not very deep in all reality thus the crossing..but limbs at dusk Hmm?Arc under..?Think,,Forget all gods andmark regardless of the season time ,,keeps us all from beloved oaks, willowspalm trees,,are the fish (Sperm)Swimming slippery wonderfull sensual and holy/ The Third Isis>
and now to rate it. I think it is a piece worthy of praise there for I give you a 9 to bad there can't bea 6, right ;) kidding of course
hey I'm on AIM at Impishkat
Are you making a pass out me.
Horus, how many names do you have? Why do you use so many?
5
I write more than one name allows.
Oh, I get it, because of the three poems a week thing. Ok. Good for you then. I wish I had the time to write as freely as I once did.
328 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
