Re: Better Days by pain killer	2-Jun-04/12:52 PM
A couple of lines detract, the last and 64-65. Lots of interesting similes, and adj. good.
Re: Ode to the bright one by tre	31-May-04/11:09 PM
Title's all wrong. Should be called 'Ode To My Dildo On Loan'
Re: a comment on Suicide of the Ego by Drifting Shadow	31-May-04/9:40 AM
I wasn't ranting and I do not think I am better than you. I write better poetry, but that's all, well maybe I make a better enchilada, but that's not saying much. Yes we are all self-centered, I agree with you on that. It comes from our millenniums old survival instincts, it's a hard habit to kick. Here, at poemranker, we rate poetry, not egos. All I'm trying to get across to you is that poetry is an art. You seem to have somehow decided, like so many others on this site, artistry is not important in creating poems. When it is, infact, the artistry that defines something as poetry. Whether it's a pudding, a dancer on the stage, or the way your lover touches you. Let's say someone over time has collected the most beautiful, costly materials known to man. Fine woods, alabaster, marble, etc., and they decide to use these materials to build a house, but they no nothing about how house's are built, and for some reason they refuse to watch others, who know a little something about it, building theirs. What do you think will happen? The subject of a poem is really unimportant, what matters is the design of the poem. There are poems here, good strong poems, about all manner of subjects. What sets the good ones apart is that they are created with skill. It's not thst we don't understand your poem, it's just that you need to sit down with it and manipulate it by introducing some poetic devices into it. If you're interesting in writing poetry, ask some questions, look around a bit,take a class, it's not so difficult. It's the difference between walking and dancing. It just takes some guidance and lots & lots of practice. Good luck.
Re: a comment on Suicide of the Ego by Drifting Shadow	31-May-04/2:40 AM
I understand your poem, despite your inability to communicate poetically. The point of art, and especially the written arts is to share experience and knowledge, to make what you've learned accessible. If it were true that 'I do not understand' your discourse, who's fault would that be? But as I said I understand your point. there is nothing that I and my nifty brainsky cannot comprehend.
Re: a comment on Suicide of the Ego by Drifting Shadow	31-May-04/2:27 AM
I don't want anything from you with the exception of a well crafted poem. That's why I'm wasting my time here, asshat, for poetry. This is not philosphyranker.com, nor brainwashingranker.com.. It's poemranker.com, get it? I've been through rape, murder, betrayal, love, hate poverty etc., I've been alive a long time, I'm not afraid of you or your stupid questions, bring it on asshat. This time you're the fish, I'm the worm. You speak of the obliteration of the ego, but it's all talk. Words are cheap. In the 3 odd years I've drifted in and out of this hole there has only been one other with an ego bigger than yours. You are a shit poet, that's all I know, and all I care to know about you and your soapbox second hand sophistry. You remind of one of those assholes who kidnap young people and claim to de-program them for their fucked-up parents, or you could be a precocious 13 yr. old who thinks he already knows everything. Either way, I don't care, because you are a crap poet. This world is full of self-centered people, and it looks to me like you're just one more on the pile. p.s. I have never been, am not currently, and will never be anyone else but myself, do not be fooled into thinking I might have some other identity, I am genuine. If you read even one of my fucking poems you'd know that, my little pompano.
Re: floating by tre	30-May-04/2:53 PM
what's wrong with your poem is what's wrong with 99.9% of poem's her, nothing happens. It's boring.
Re: Suicide of the Ego by Drifting Shadow	30-May-04/2:33 PM
I've got balls, brains, clits, tits, patience and inner peace. Your poem's still crap. p.s. Happiness is overrated. p.p.s. You're an asshat.
Re: forget me nots by killingjuliet	30-May-04/2:26 PM
Congradulations.
Re: lost in the riptide by killingjuliet	30-May-04/2:23 PM
ugh.
Re: dancing on air by killingjuliet	30-May-04/2:22 PM
Nice ending. Drop magical mystery. It's like sand got into your peanut-butter and jam.
Re: GENTLE JANE by titan69	30-May-04/2:20 PM
Beer.
Re: For Antony's unborn by Mona Lisa	30-May-04/2:15 PM
Great.
Re: The Bed by Fear of Garbage	29-May-04/3:10 AM
Try saying things without using IT. For example just fat, cherry red.../ The head is brown, The sheets are blue. / The first two its(scrap it, sell it)work well. Leave those as they are.
Re: Waking by wilco	29-May-04/2:52 AM
The good news is; the 2nd stanzas perfect. The bad news is; I don't see any reason for the 1st stanza.
Re: a comment on Sir Magnedrol vs. The Dragon (part 1) by Phalkon	28-May-04/6:47 PM
A Prequel! Good Gravy. Was that a project for Dork 101? Just kidding, you're probably completely adorable. Find something exciting to do, you're young, have some sex or something, it's good for you.
Re: argentina by ThePariahDog	27-May-04/5:59 PM
See http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=71485. for my own view on the subject.
Re: argentina by ThePariahDog	27-May-04/5:57 PM
Like the country you envoke here, your poem needs work, but it's good. Can't get into it now, I'm at work.
Re: a comment on Fighting before bed by zodiac	27-May-04/1:08 PM
Is 'still' noun or an adverb in that sentence?
Re: Fighting before bed by zodiac	27-May-04/12:05 PM
Should it be '...smooth her...'(S5L3)? The more I read this the better it becomes. Especially S'3 & 4. Also "let her be a childlike", seems incorrect.
Re: Child of Troy by Caducus	27-May-04/11:57 AM
It's hard to know who you're talking about at times. The child or the mother? "Her littler girl smiled at me With HER(whose, the little girls or the mother's?)green nose..." You were part of who's 'brief history'? The prepositionals at the end are terribly awkward, and what exactly is 'a rebirth of destiny'