poemranker ::floating by tre

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 103719

floating

Member since 2004 · Posted 30 May 2004 · 2 comments

I've lost myself again I've fallen into my head I'm floating along a string of thoughts story after story, I make-up my own endings I go where I wanna go Escaping my body, my shackles, my guilt for wanting the other guy Escaping my inability to please myself Escaping the unfortunate knowledge of knowing there's not enough money Escaping my stress, my insecurities, my lonliness I don't want your arms around me no more I keep my eyes towards the sky Waiting to be pulled up out of it all Suddenly the gate closes He's here to pick me up I close my journal, take off my headphones and pretend I want to take his hand out into a world I don't understand. A world I'm floating in.

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mean 5.67 weighted 5.18 rank 4842 views 184 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

2 comments

[0] god'swife 30-May-04/2:53 PM Reply
what's wrong with your poem is what's wrong with 99.9% of poem's her, nothing happens. It's boring.
[7] ggawrysi 30-May-04/9:22 PM Reply
while the quality of your poems is staying constant, you need to find new material... go back to all of your poems; how many, when summed up, have the same underlying inspiration? if you're still having trouble leaving this topic, try telling it from one or both of the guy's perspective(s), could be interesting