poemranker ::The Bed by Fear of Garbage

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Free verse № 103517

The Bed

Member since 2003 · Posted 28 May 2004 · 5 comments

The bed you are lying in is a fat check. We will scrap it, sell it before the end of the year, this thing, With its fat, cherry red posts, wingtips, And a headboard, big as a harbor. Its head is brown. Its sheets are blue. It holds within it The outings, the courtings of lovers Who hold their breath until their necks turn blue. It holds within it, you, You who love me like a daughter, though Your skin is green, and your cheeks are blue. Five times you came down with it and five times They tried to cut it off at the root. Your heart still beats. Five times too few. By the end, we will scrap this bed. It is far too large to keep, this thing, With its fat, cherry red posts, wingtips, And a headboard, big as a harbor. Its head is brown. Its sheets are blue. Yes, by the end we will have to scrap this bed. And scrap you with it, too.

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mean 8.11 weighted 6.56 rank 639 views 189 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

5 comments

[9] Shuushin 28-May-04/10:47 AM Reply
at first the numerous "it/its" gave me pause - but with that ending - sets it up very nicely indeed.
[n/a] Fear of Garbage › Shuushin 28-May-04/10:55 AM Reply
I never thought about that. I guess I do use "it/its" too much.
[9] wilco 28-May-04/12:12 PM Reply
Are you really only 16? You don't see many teenagers that can write this well. Keep it up.
[10] <{Baba^Yaga}> 28-May-04/6:25 PM Reply
Please
[9] god'swife 29-May-04/3:10 AM Reply
Try saying things without using IT. For example just fat, cherry red.../ The head is brown, The sheets are blue. / The first two its(scrap it, sell it)work well. Leave those as they are.