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Sir Magnedrol vs. The Dragon (part 1) (Free verse) by Phalkon
Sir magnedrol, fiercest of all was he Accused in the court of heresy Exiled from the kingdom long ago 'twas not to return for a decade or so out on the land, would sir magnedrol live befriended a farmer, and crops would he give for protection, sir magnedrol, he would provide but the winter was harsh, and the old farmer died sir magnedrol went for a walk one day befriended a traveler on the way the traveler's name was pondrine (pon-druh-nee) a superior hunter and archer was he entering town, some news was told the princess was stolen by a dragon of old for the dragon's death, reward be paid and a high ranking noble, the warrior be made sir magnedrol turned to his partner abreast, and pleaded that pondrine join on the quest the knight and the archer embarked that day for the dragon they sought lived far away the knight and archer, with sun to their back came to the mouth of a forest so black they entered the forest, and they went on for the port at the end had boats sailing on they made up a camp with the fading of light unbeknownst to them, there was thief in the night the archer and knight were awoken to grief for a ravenous wolf was attacking the thief! The knight and the archer jumped to the fight For they could prevent this man's death tonight! The sure-shotted archer, he readied a dart Pulled back on the bow, and struck the wolf's heart The thief was so thankful, he begged to repay So the archer and knight, he would help on the way The trio of friends slept soundly that night They did, that is, until the morning light With the dawn of the sun, they awoke with a hop To the sound of a woodcutter's "chop chop chop" the woodcutter found the travelers three And asked "wilt thou have breakfast with thee?" The woodcutter lived on the top of the hill And made sure the travelers each got his fill At this time, the cutter introduced himself "taeks, am I" as he reached for a shelf (tay-ex) "I am magnedrol" said the fierce knight to the host "and I am pondrine" spoke the archer with boast the thief was reluctant to give out his name "I'll keep it a secret, if it's all just the same" the knight told the cutter of the quest he was on by noon the next day, the four men were gone the port was positioned at the mouth of the bay with a handful of luck, they'd be there in a day bright the next morning the men reached then port the sight they beheld was the busiest of sort they found them a sailor of dirtiest mouth he said he would help them, for he headed south taeks spoke to the sailor on the voyage that night he spoke of the quest and the dragon they'd fight the sailor said, "morth, the sea dog am I, "I've never seen a dragon with this salty eye "from this day on, I'll join on your quest "I may not be much, but I'll give it my best!" so on the boat sailed, in water so deep in the cabin, five travelers, trying to sleep around midnight that night, they awoke with a start a sea creature was tearing the boat apart! With mouth of sharp teeth, and arms of eight feet This terrible creature would be hard to beat! Taeks picked up his axe, and the archer his bow Ready to inflict a damaging blow The thief grabbed his dagger, the knight grabbed his sword But the creature was determined to knock them off board! An arm grabbed the archer, who let out a cry He thought at that point that he'd surely die The knight and the thief both heard the shout They ran to the rescue, to help their friend out They were afraid that their friend had met harm So the knight swung twice, and cut off the beast's arm Taeks the cutter swung with all of his might Struck the beast's head, and the beast died that night! So the boat sailed on for a night and a day The five became brothers along the way The bond they made was the strongest of sort By late afternoon, they had reached the next port The thief and the archer went into town The cutter and sailor tied the boat down The knight stayed aboard, to fix the ship's hull Then cleaned off the weapons (the beast made them dull) The thief and the archer were buying supplies When a ruckus erupted that caught the pair's eyes A man had screamed he was falsely accused This man the guards captured was being abused! The pair then decided to help the man out They caught some attention by giving a shout The thief rolled a casket of wine at a guard The archer hit another with a fruit that was hard The pair freed the man, and ran off like a race But they needed to hide, for the guards picked up pace The man explained that a merchant had lied So the thief found them alleys and places to hide Some time went by, and the guards lost track Decided to give up, and headed on back The trio regrouped, and returned to the ship Ready to begin the next leg of the trip The man introduced himself to the rest "I am aark, the blacksmith, and I'll help on your quest (ay-ark) "I'll sharpen and shine your weapons of steel "I'll cook us a feast for every meal!" "helpful you are, helpful indeed "you are exactly the man that we will need! "if you help us, then we'll help thee!" all of these words spoke pondrine this is the end of part one of the quest you must stay tuned to learn of the rest the adventures thus far have been but the least will the travelers strength be enough for the beast?

Up the ladder: I don't wanna be me
Down the ladder: Gibberish

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.5
Weighted score: 4.7019925
Overall Rank: 12011
Posted: May 26, 2004 10:07 AM PDT; Last modified: May 26, 2004 10:07 AM PDT
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Comments:
[0] god'swife @ 4.232.177.134 | 26-May-04/4:36 PM | Reply
Boring.
[n/a] Phalkon @ 205.188.117.6 > god'swife | 27-May-04/6:48 AM | Reply
would you like it more if i threw in an apearance by Spongebob?
[0] god'swife @ 209.179.226.146 > Phalkon | 27-May-04/11:47 AM | Reply
No. Yes. No...maybe. No, definitely no. Well if you made it about you, or some actual human experience instead of this kiddy story type thingy. You have skill, I'll grant you that, but why errant knights and dragons? And please don't scream allegory or deeper meaning because if there is any then you completely obscured it with your Dr. Suessian foolishness. Also, why do you say one of the fellows 'cleaned' dull weapons instead of 'sharpened'?

No, not even Spongebob, with his deprecatory charms, could salvage this. Well, maybe if you dressed him up as a Damsel-in-distress. Give it a whirl.
[n/a] Phalkon @ 205.188.117.6 > god'swife | 28-May-04/10:21 AM | Reply
eh... it has nothing to do with deep meanings, i got bored during school and wrote it in 3 days in a free hour i had... i (along with a friend) later wrote a prequel story to it for a class project

oh, and things can be "dulled" without be "non-sharp"
[10] zodiac @ 65.161.41.48 > Phalkon | 28-May-04/6:23 PM | Reply
re: "oh, and things can be 'dulled' without be 'non-sharp'"

Are you a robot programmed to approximate human speech? Congratulations, you're doing swell.
[n/a] Phalkon @ 152.163.253.4 > zodiac | 29-May-04/8:17 AM | Reply
yay, my humanoid characteristic program is working!
[10] zodiac @ 65.161.41.48 > Phalkon | 29-May-04/5:57 PM | Reply
I'd jack up the grammar inducers by at least half. Your comments read like old samurai film subtitles. And what do you mean by "things can be 'dulled' without be 'non-sharp'" anyway?
[n/a] Phalkon @ 64.12.117.6 > zodiac | 27-Aug-04/6:43 AM | Reply
IT MEANS NON-SHINY you dumbass
[0] SupremeDreamer @ 130.65.109.104 > Phalkon | 9-Feb-07/12:57 PM | Reply
In what language? Because it certainly is not the case with English.
[0] god'swife @ 4.232.108.161 > Phalkon | 28-May-04/6:47 PM | Reply
A Prequel! Good Gravy. Was that a project for Dork 101? Just kidding, you're probably completely adorable. Find something exciting to do, you're young, have some sex or something, it's good for you.
[n/a] Phalkon @ 152.163.253.4 > god'swife | 29-May-04/8:14 AM | Reply
hahaha... no, for one of your computer classes, we were assigned to write creative stories to "pitch" as a storybook idea... so yeah, it made sense at the time.
[0] SupremeDreamer @ 130.65.109.104 > Phalkon | 9-Feb-07/1:06 PM | Reply
You know, it scares me that you chose not to attempt writing this in the throes of a wild three-some. It may have actually assisted in the creation of something better, something other than this medieval concoction spawned by the winds of your ass.

And if this were supposed to be a hypothetical story pitch? I'm guessing you got a poor grade, which is less painful than, say, security giving you a violent boot out of a publisher's office.
[n/a] Phalkon @ 70.246.86.30 > SupremeDreamer | 11-Feb-07/12:27 PM | Reply
actually, i got the highest grade in the class. i know, i know. i pity the rest of the graduates, as well
[0] SupremeDreamer @ 130.65.109.104 > god'swife | 9-Feb-07/12:56 PM | Reply
I'm shocked that for a moment you even had to consider it and change your mind about Spongebob. Though, ofcourse, it would be fucking hilarious, but I am convinced at this time of Spongebobs vile conspiracy to brainwash en-mass the minds of children, everywhere.
[10] zodiac @ 65.161.41.48 | 30-May-04/3:49 PM | Reply
The main problems with this poem are that the thing with the pronunciation guide for the names is ridiculous; you should know how to pronounce it when you see it. So "Pondrine" should be "Pondreh Ni" or something such, "Taeks" should be "Taieks," and "Aark" should definitely be "Gaydvark". Leaving them lower-case doesn't help. And no one should be given a particular name just to make a rhyme.

Also, your poem is sadly lacking in pointlessly repeated words and jarring exclamatories. See how much better the following verse sounds than yours.

The Elvish Prince went riding, riding,
Riding out to the sea.
Full many a worthy fellow had he!
A ranger, a dwarf, and mages three
Had he in his hurrying company.
And their stealthy cloaks went gliding, gliding
(Through hollow and tree!
Fum! fettle! fee!)
As the Elvish Lord went riding, riding
Out to the Western Sea.
[10] zodiac @ 65.161.41.48 > zodiac | 31-May-04/12:11 PM | Reply
Or this one:

The prosecutor dribbles, dribbles
Crumbs from his pendulous jowls,
Of the delicacies he nibbles (nibbles!)
On break from his courtroom quibbles (quibbles!)
And looks o'er the Park and scowls,
(Shudders and growls,
"Bother and bow'ls!")
At the gay, uncivilised play
Of St James's waterfowls.
And shakes his pendulous head and dribbles
Crumbs from his quivering jowls.
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.11.85 > zodiac | 28-Aug-04/7:49 AM | Reply
The two poems preceding these comments are the best I've ever posted on poemranker. I'd forgotten them.
[0] SupremeDreamer @ 130.65.109.104 > zodiac | 9-Feb-07/1:08 PM | Reply
Your efforts, sir, fall on blind eyes, deaf ears, and this young mans collapsed rectum. You had been too kind.
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