Re: a comment on You are a Fool, Dad by AskittlesK	28-Mar-04/6:21 AM
I will say though, the title rocked, and the first stanza started out pretty well.
Re: You are a Fool, Dad by AskittlesK	28-Mar-04/6:20 AM
Too simplistic; I don't buy it. The 1/begun rhyme did it in.
Re: Horny Hornswoggling by purplewalrus	28-Mar-04/6:19 AM
"And present a number of social agenda" despite the possibility that it could be grammatically correct - this should be remade in such a way so that it doesn't raise the question. Laced with interesting political language but I can't get past that it says, overal, "despite our potential, we suck" - that's what I get out of it anyway. Maybe this would appeal to a campus audience more (I did like it better than the last one, though).
Re: Checkmate by purplewalrus	28-Mar-04/6:13 AM
Not feeling this one - leaves me with half my face scrunched up.
Re: A Garden Wall by somemorepoetry	28-Mar-04/6:03 AM
Sure.
Re: Disaster in Disguise by Miggy	28-Mar-04/6:00 AM
But now that I[ve] opened them I dunno mig - its true that the rhymes are typically simple for a popoular song, but I feel like some of these exist just for the sake of rhyme. What's this one about?
Re: hidden by the indign	27-Mar-04/11:22 AM
I think this is a bit longer than it needs to be to express the sentiment. Which, I have to admit, is a bit difficult to ascertain. Gonna need some punch - best done in a smaller space.
Re: a comment on hidden by the indign	27-Mar-04/11:20 AM
and the poem, how do you feel aboot the poem? Or do you just like talking to hear yerself talk, eh laddy?
Re: mistaken in a glance by francis nor capule	26-Mar-04/3:14 PM
yap. A break-up poem.
Re: Divine by Bobjim	26-Mar-04/3:08 PM
simple. cute. cute and simple.
Re: a person by francis nor capule	26-Mar-04/3:07 PM
yep. its a love poem.
Re: fleeting thoughts by francis nor capule	26-Mar-04/3:07 PM
yep. a "missing you" poem.
Re: loneliness untold by francis nor capule	26-Mar-04/3:06 PM
yep. Its a breakup poem.
Re: a comment on Colors Collide by Blindpoetry	26-Mar-04/3:05 PM
Oh, don't worry about him - he causes trouble for a living.
Re: a comment on Misplaced Life by Richard	26-Mar-04/7:59 AM
Fascinating.
Re: Tennessee by wilco	26-Mar-04/7:55 AM
It's not too shabby, abby. It presents a fairly solid package with a good ending. Sure - have an 8.
Re: The Unknown Soldier by abcmonkey78	26-Mar-04/7:52 AM
not bad, monkey. the longer lines help the AA BB rhymes which can easily be tiresome. Maybe you can do something with this line "And all the more I think about it, fear disgruntles breath" and the last couplet, too. What's there is an example of a mixed metaphor - you have all this infantry imagery, then in comes the navy. Know what I mean? Don't run out of steam at the end!! lastly, I won't second guess all your semicolons, since I'm pretty lenient with them, but I raised an eyebrow at a few.
Re: Tennessee by wilco	25-Mar-04/8:47 PM
were these spellingbads here before? peices beleieved gons
Re: a comment on Colors Collide by Blindpoetry	25-Mar-04/8:28 PM
its actually a stinky muddy brown - I just tested it. Now I'm fresh out of pigs.
Re: Untitled *involves taking pills and cutting with razors* by AskittlesK	25-Mar-04/8:19 PM
I like the flow of it and it stays to the right side of overdone. You need a title? how about "Final Cut"