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You are a Fool, Dad (Free verse) by AskittlesK We're only related by blood
not by personaility
or by love.
You've hurt me in the past
I see it all now.
When I was born
you weren't there to hold me.
Or to say Happy Birthday.
When I was only 1
my life had just begun
I was told you neglected me
and left me alone all day long.
I remember you banging on the windows
when I was only 2.
no one would let you in.
Because you were a fool.
Up the ladder:
Remnants of a Lost Friday
Down the ladder:
Prince of Void
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.8
Posted: March 27, 2004 10:56 PM PST; Last modified: March 27, 2004 10:56 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.095362 Overall Rank: 6105 Comments:
You have a good theme here, just cloak it a little more and it becomes interesting.
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The 1/begun rhyme did it in.