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Untitled *involves taking pills and cutting with razors* (Free verse) by AskittlesK the razors sharp
the pills make my heart race
I'm alone on this dark base.
No one sees my pain
No one sees the scars
No one sees my brain
activly controlling
my thoughts and fears
my life of tears.
I'm falling
I'm dizzy
I'm sizzling as I get busy.
sitting on my wrist is my razor
full of blood
a fountain of tears flood.
The pills take charge
My heart speeds up.
I'm falling
onto the floor
passing by my life
passing out
passing any chance that I will get up.
Up the ladder:
Farmhouse, Southern France (storm on arrival)
Down the ladder:
Isn't it a wonder
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.7777777
Posted: March 21, 2004 2:55 PM PST; Last modified: March 21, 2004 2:55 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.888889 Overall Rank: 1499 Comments:
A bit melodramatic, but I can feel it.
thank you
I sincerely hope that you're not really cutting yourself....but if you are then I would like to make the suggestion (perhaps unwanted) that you see your doctor about getting some antidepressants that ARE yours. I did like your poem though, by the way.
thank you
Razors and pills are so boring though...try tnt, liven the decor up a bit.
well they weren't boring too me ,..... I just wrote a poem about what exactly pretty much happended.
I'm sizzling as I get busy.
Sitting on the hob is the chip pan O! Why did I seat My flammable rear At such an inopportune time? -7-
I really enjoyed this poeme. I'm sorry to hear about your story and hope everything works out. -10-
yeah... it has so far... Not sure how well the counsualing will go ... but i'll let u know...
I like the flow of it and it stays to the right side of overdone.
You need a title? how about "Final Cut"
hmm.... I like Final Cut.. hmm.. I'm gonna have to think so more about that but good idea! thanks!
-Angie 163 view(s)
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Yeah this poem relates to that and i got suspended like a little less than 2 weeks ago for taking a perscription antidepressant that wasn't mine. And that day when I came home being suspended and it was kind of late and i cut my self and it started bleeding and everything then i just dabbed it on paper. Then I have a feeling I passed out on my bed.. cuz i don't remember falling asleep but i remember waking up. I'm not sure what exactly happended.. But yeah now I'm going to a chemical counsular at school *cuz i have too* .. its a really long story.. but like 20 people got caught with perscription pills that weren't theres. And well since i have to see the chemical counsular for 30 min during 1st per. I think she might then find out that i cut. idk tho
yeah i like poemranker too and other poem sites!
well g2g
-Angie