| Re: A Countercultural Trip by peaceseeker |
9-Oct-03/10:00 AM |
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONLY PLEASE.
THANKS.
|
|
|
 |
| Re: Therapy by http://bandgeek |
11-Oct-03/7:03 AM |
|
A beautiful account of sympathy sex gone wild.âº
|
|
|
|
| Re: the two faces of the bar social. by darby pyn |
12-Oct-03/9:46 AM |
|
Needs more line breaks, and needs more explanation about what's going on.
|
|
|
|
| Re: I wish I had a friend by un_oying |
12-Oct-03/9:48 AM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Oct-03/9:49 AM |
Spoken like a true trained killer.
Is this a fantasy about killing for your country?
|
|
|
|
| Re: Beautiful Scars by William Delacroix |
12-Oct-03/9:51 AM |
|
say more about the beautiful scars, why were they beautiful? did she move on?
|
|
|
|
| Re: She wishes by INTRANSIT |
12-Oct-03/9:52 AM |
|
obviously he doesn't know how to use either one.
|
|
|
|
| Re: NUMERO UNO by gorbichoff |
12-Oct-03/9:53 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: For W. by A. Nomaly |
12-Oct-03/9:55 AM |
Is that "E" for ecstasy?
I liked your analogy.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Oct-03/9:57 AM |
Why do you care what stupid negative people think?
This one is very moving and well written.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Memoirs IV by http://mulberryfairy |
11-Nov-03/9:46 AM |
Love the content, love the dialogue, but maybe you could portray the dialogue somehow without quotations in order to be more poem-y.
love -"sober blue eyes met with mine"
"feverish hands"
"spinning world"
"rust pimpled metal"
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Nov-03/9:43 AM |
|
The last four lines leave me hanging, say more about being in there too, maybe one more line.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Being by horus8 |
19-Nov-03/8:33 AM |
I liked "I see promise" (in my son's eyes).
But, don't we choose who we love, that is, except our children?
Also liked "I passed you at birth" (!!)
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Nov-03/10:19 AM |
Now this is poetry.
-not sure what sickle cleaves sky means, nor what tamarisks are.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Grind by INTRANSIT |
25-Nov-03/10:21 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Revolution by Nitroxide |
25-Nov-03/10:25 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: fully awake by crwncka1 |
7-Jan-04/8:48 AM |
nice journey (to "the conscious reunion with (your) love").
i love this.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Mar-04/2:47 PM |
|
shut your racist shit-trap
|
|
|
|
| Re: She Crab by http://mulberryfairy |
11-Oct-04/1:03 PM |
So vivid I can smell the saltwater.
The crab looked alive, but was actually dead.
The lifelike floating legs and protruding passive eyes surveying all - kind of creepy, yet thought provoking!
|
|
|
|
| Re: just can't by shygirl1619 |
27-Jan-05/5:59 PM |
you can do it!
do something else, now.
|
|
|
|
