Re: Da Ghetto by <{Baba^Yaga}>	27-Jun-08/7:29 PM
ouch.
Re: The Lion and the worm. by <{Baba^Yaga}>	27-Jun-08/7:28 PM
... strange. yes, strange.
Re: If you pimp me I'll stay Walter by Shardik	27-Jun-08/7:25 PM
ex-fix-i-ate pwnage. oh, shardik.
Re: The Fog And The Androids by Shardik	27-Jun-08/7:24 PM
definitely lyric; and kind of fun. but not really interesting. I can imagine this set to music, though, and people singing along.
Re: Why I want to kill Opie by Bachus	27-Jun-08/7:23 PM
meh.
Re: The folded ways your eyes cave by Shardik	27-Jun-08/7:22 PM
Villanelles have definitely made me feel this way. Firefox doesn't know what a villanelle is. But it doesn't know what Firefox is, either, unless I capitalize it. I feel ... guided. 6 for fun.
Re: Falling Away by Holy Sinner	27-Jun-08/6:55 PM
it's -> its two-by-fours (I think) ... typical drifting away poem. some nice imagery--the poem could benefit by focusing on that and making it more coherent.
Re: a comment on in this bus terminal of the future by nentwined	27-Jun-08/2:01 PM
can has moar blood? :) VTOL is more just the direction of thrust; anti-grav I hope to be much more spectacular. :) FTL - faster than light (travel). Which teleportation generally qualifies as, but I was grasping. Glad it got a chuckle. resumption of SEARCH?
Re: The Man Who Drooped by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	26-Jun-08/8:51 PM
classic.
Re: sperladnik by malpaso	26-Jun-08/8:44 PM
less drugs? different drugs? more drugs? I don't know! Aieeeeee!
Re: sperladnik: the sequel by malpaso	26-Jun-08/8:40 PM
funny, but not funny enough. :)
Re: Moat Man by JMakStak	26-Jun-08/8:39 PM
this has something, though I think you're going concrete as opposed to free verse? and I'm not really getting the concrete image except for a vague separation of things...
Re: Question by half.italian	26-Jun-08/8:38 PM
plausible.
Re: In desperate need by outoftouch	26-Jun-08/8:38 PM
"liking me for who it is I want to be." <-- an interesting line "I need you like a fat kid needs cake," <-- less so, unless that's the feel you're going for throughout
Re: untitled by outoftouch	26-Jun-08/8:37 PM
"I know this sounds unbelievably cheesy, And extremely cliche," ding! :) No real offense intended, and nothing to do with your situation, just the poem--it's a pimple, through and through.
Re: Her tears by outoftouch	26-Jun-08/8:36 PM
the tears aren't for him, really. and this poem isn't for anyone but the writer.
Re: not good enough by outoftouch	26-Jun-08/8:34 PM
"she doesn't she that" -> "she doesn't see that" cant -> can't ... This belongs pretty perfectly in the pimple category. It's a common enough place/time/emotion, more for the writer of the poem than anyone else.
Re: Hardboiled Heart by T. Jonathron Remp	26-Jun-08/8:33 PM
Could be good lyrics. The randomness of what you grasp at is the main detractor for me--I can't gel any particular image/meaning/point out of the poem, and that makes any possible insights ... less.
Re: Killer Gap by T. Jonathron Remp	26-Jun-08/8:29 PM
The first stanza and three quarters really work, though I wouldn't expect them too. You're losing it for me where you break from the form and rhythm you've set up ((any form is tenuous and has a lot to prove about itself... and when you drop it, if that's not intrinsically meaningful, ...)) Interesting, though.
Re: I Got Mine Designed by Skamper	26-Jun-08/8:27 PM
funny that. random with a hint of purpose (I smell porpoise). I'd like to know a little more about what you got designed... maybe. :) I'm possibly missing a lot, here.