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Killer Gap (Free verse) by T. Jonathron Remp
Row after row of cotton not to be easily forgotten. Perfectly designed pants, straps, suits and hats. Colors kaleidoscopic, tropic themes, handy pockets. No infantile clowns, cakes, ponies nor rockets. From cowlick to toes, man makes the clothes! I spin to my wife, the producer of life. Conceive, we must, make a baby out of dust! Conceive: So that we may put a baby in this sleeve! Just imagine these garments, running through our apartment Complimenting our cabinets and upholstery, O, Baby, get close to me! Bring me an heir, a crawling mannequin so fair! My dear, my dear, before you come into my lap, Be sure to open an account with Baby Gap

Up the ladder: IN THE OUTPOST OF WORDS
Down the ladder: joy22williams@yahoo.in

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.0474257
Overall Rank: 6922
Posted: June 20, 2008 11:13 AM PDT; Last modified: June 20, 2008 11:13 AM PDT
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Comments:
[5] nentwined @ 98.148.150.246 | 26-Jun-08/8:29 PM | Reply
The first stanza and three quarters really work, though I wouldn't expect them too. You're losing it for me where you break from the form and rhythm you've set up ((any form is tenuous and has a lot to prove about itself... and when you drop it, if that's not intrinsically meaningful, ...))

Interesting, though.
[7] SupremeDreamer @ 68.123.141.188 | 9-Jul-08/11:08 PM | Reply
Procreation meets capitalism.

BEHOLD THE AMERICAN DREAM MY FELLOWS!
Behold the price of gas and the
penis based obsessions with guzzling hummers!!!
Behold the value of the soul
directly equated with the value of our dollar!!
Behold our children bred to work,
brought about by government approved
alcoholic adventures!!! Minds befuddled
during fetal formation, only to be
further augmented by piss poor education.
Amen.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

Seven.
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