Re: The Shining City by ErgoErgun	29-Jul-02/2:16 PM
the original was freedom from and ( mis- )translated as freedom to ..... just a thought ..... :)
Re: minute by flatliner	29-Jul-02/12:11 PM
. yes , .... thank you
Re: In my weakest hour, I find my true strength by Rainbow_chaser	29-Jul-02/12:09 PM
... you're a rainbow .... some editing may be in order perhaps ? scansion and suchlike
Re: The Gravity of Love by april fool	29-Jul-02/11:50 AM
.. somewhat prudish methinks , and the one without the other would make for a cold marriage
Re: The Price by Bluesee	28-Jul-02/5:33 PM
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Re: Clit by unknown	28-Jul-02/5:21 PM
.... lol ....
Re: Ode to Thomas by RosiePosie	28-Jul-02/5:13 PM
sorry rosieposie but yuck ! the truth and sanctity of your destiny needs more careful presentation for an audience of poets
Re: ~Witchcraft~ by Lenore	28-Jul-02/5:03 PM
hi , i'm sure this works as a spell but the rhythm and rhymed form tries to hurry me urgently along while i need to linger on the images .... found that a bit unsettling . but created a nice picture at the end
Re: Me and the Darkness by aurora	28-Jul-02/4:53 PM
..... still , mustn't grumble eh ! ... the old human condition doncha know ... :-)
Re: Zen by gothwalk	28-Jul-02/6:42 AM
the tao which is the tao is not the tao(iambic pentameter)
Re: The ONE by Eline	26-Jul-02/4:51 AM
too many cliches following one from the other .... one per stanza would suffice :\
Re: diving by keatsImnot	26-Jul-02/4:23 AM
the first two and a half lines made me laugh with its superposition of image forms (...screaming tranquility at us )..
Re: Tangled by mikeyh53581	25-Jul-02/4:23 PM
..... mandolin accompaniment , perhaps ; beneath a balcony
Re: Hate Me by lucky_cmc	25-Jul-02/4:20 PM
... yeah ....right ! ... nice if done to a rap rhythm
Re: Decisions by x311	25-Jul-02/4:07 PM
.... nah , carry on writing ... it's gotta be done ...
Re: to my best friend david by wowzers718	25-Jul-02/1:47 PM
the depth of feeling in your stuff is amazing but there's something about love poems that gets a bit yucky ..... very difficult to do without a poetic meta-structure ... so to speak :-\ ...unless i missed it .... a low mark with love
Re: ungle stop by wowzers718	25-Jul-02/1:37 PM
leave it be if nothing else happens and talk to him when you are an adult and to one or two close friends if you are still a child ......hth.....:-)
Re: older sister by wowzers718	25-Jul-02/1:28 PM
genius move putting it all on one line and forcing the scroll ...a true web-poem ....
Re: Little Miss Ogyny by [mojo]	25-Jul-02/1:15 PM
the thought is a gem but as poetry didn't quite work for me except as a springboard for further thoughts
Re: The First Proper Evening of Summer by [mojo]	25-Jul-02/1:11 PM
yeah ... the last two lines or three negated feelings of ? irritation ? at awkwardness ..compatable as a whole seemed to grate til i started with that line as a new breath/beat .. is that why there is a comma after seems in the previous line ?