| Re: father Worked Nights by poetandknowit |
27-Aug-02/10:46 PM |
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there you go, p&k, using the banal or your steel again
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| Re: Esplanade by Wulf |
27-Aug-02/10:25 PM |
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well, the structure is lovely, but i can't get past pronouncing it 'ess-plah-nahd' which kills the rhyming. i'm going or it being a woman's name, in my own little world o' understandings and the like. i like it--it twirls me around the room as i read it; i suppose that the act that i want to know what E is has absolutely no bearing on whether or not i will ever get that answer. care to tell us, wulf?
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| Re: <{Grasping^Grendals}> by Bachus |
27-Aug-02/1:50 PM |
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she will never love you as much as her sleep! nor even as much as thr fragrant and detatched armpits of sodding peasants! other than that, i'm okay, you're okay. nice piece.
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| Re: Meta by nentwined |
27-Aug-02/1:32 PM |
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delightfully convoluted, yet clear.
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| Re: Confessor's Nightcap by Limness |
27-Aug-02/1:28 PM |
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so, what do you do for fun, other than lend an ear??
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| Re: Midnight at the pool by flatliner |
27-Aug-02/1:27 PM |
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i love that dance! dance often, my friend!
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| Re: The Hand of God by Christof |
27-Aug-02/8:29 AM |
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| Re: Escapism by vulcan |
27-Aug-02/6:24 AM |
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detatched, but not all the way gone. i get the feeling he's planning the trip though. liked it.
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| Re: White Wasp Boy - La Senza Superhero by ==Doylum |
27-Aug-02/6:17 AM |
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what a crafty game this is, D. makes me re-think the whole new-relationship business. i suppose we all do it, unless we're latched onto a looooong termer, as are some of my friends, who have chosen to keep their eyes shut, or at least averted, but, why do we expect what we expect in the first place? i catch myself doing it, always. sucks. now, on another note, 'lillies of the cubicle' ha! i like that best. nice one, h.
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| Re: Work by poetandknowit |
27-Aug-02/6:00 AM |
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i aged while reading this. this poem has a keen edge.
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| Re: father Worked Nights by poetandknowit |
27-Aug-02/5:57 AM |
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i like it p&k. very effective.
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| Re: Same by <~> |
26-Aug-02/12:09 PM |
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again, i took part of it. i think i like it now.
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| Re: Making Sense in Plain Living by Flaithri |
26-Aug-02/7:27 AM |
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wow i am SO tired of seeing this poem crop up in the recent list, with a different user name each time.
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| Re: Same by <~> |
26-Aug-02/12:16 AM |
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muchas gracias. will dream on it.
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| Re: Same by <~> |
25-Aug-02/11:53 PM |
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tweak tweak tweak, i think i find what i seek. thanks mrs g--the plums belonged in the painting stanza, and the sorrow needed to get soaked out in the acceptance/hope/conclusion. also, in/out=ebb/flow. yes/no?
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| Re: Same by <~> |
25-Aug-02/11:42 PM |
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s3 is about the shadows. perhaps 'let the sea soak the sorrow out' needs modification? in my head, the sea is staining the sand, and the shadows do the same, and they reach for each other, so the cold is in the shadow/shade of evening, swept out (pine/grass broom) to darken the skies? as the sea does the sand? but with fewer words
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| Re: Same by <~> |
25-Aug-02/11:16 PM |
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part the first: yes, and no. self-censorship? this is a hard battle; either way you lose. loose the parable on the gathered masses. if you feel arrogant writing it, then maybe it needs to be written in a different voice, froma different point of view? part the second: i took your advice re: the first 2 stanza, partially. i visciously slashed at the kernel that seeded this poem; it's a better swimmer without its old skin, methinks. and, part the third, since we seem to be the only ones alive tonight, either of you have any instant-grat criticism for me? i'd like to put this one to bed, and then to do the same for me. it's late here in the east.
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| Re: Chew your food! by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
25-Aug-02/10:47 PM |
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if you simmered it after you boiled it down, baba, i could eat it without my toofeses in. i can never find those damn dentures, anyway. and you've made my favorite tonight, too. or is this the dinner you promised that little tart with the big texas dreams? mrs. g warned her about your allure; she heeded not a word of that oracular adviser. remus and romulus, prepare the bowl
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| Re: Apathy by nentwined |
25-Aug-02/10:22 PM |
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i think i see what you were getting at, but i'm not sure this gets at it. explain, please?
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| Re: To Be Rich by Bakar |
25-Aug-02/9:58 PM |
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