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father Worked Nights (Free verse) by poetandknowit
father lived in a factory. he would pound, pound and pound all night long, never stopping, never saying why. Laugh and scream, pound and pound -- no lunch hour, not even a coffee break. Pound and pound, using the cat and mother for his steel.

Up the ladder: Deep Inner Pain
Down the ladder: The Long Night

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 64
.. 20
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 22
.. 11
.. 32

Arithmetic Mean: 5.6296296
Weighted score: 5.6280727
Overall Rank: 2178
Posted: August 26, 2002 12:23 PM PDT; Last modified: August 26, 2002 12:23 PM PDT
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The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

god'swife

Comments:
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.137.233 | 26-Aug-02/2:23 PM | Reply
Terrific. Sort of Carl Sandburg for the domestic violence set. Father lived in a factory is a perfect set up. I thought he was a workoholic, and then it turns out his home is an abuse factory. I love the twist of it. 10. Only change might be to replace 'the' from line 10 to 'my'.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 26-Aug-02/3:08 PM | Reply
I realise this is probably a 'serious' poeme, but 'using the cat and mother for his steel' is hilarious. I'm going to give this 10 because that's what all the mature people who really appreciate poetry do.
[10] razorgrin @ 142.166.106.56 | 26-Aug-02/3:20 PM | Reply
that's really damn good.
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 26-Aug-02/3:23 PM | Reply
D.A. now come on, you are satirizing your own satire; using cruelty as another expression of cruelty. Just be mean. Screw the little tots and their love poems. But you may be on to something in this poem, but let???s see how it turns out.
[10] god'swife @ 209.178.179.22 | 26-Aug-02/3:39 PM | Reply
don't change anything it's perfect.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 26-Aug-02/5:07 PM | Reply
Pfft. You've been paying too much attention to god'swife. Cruelty has nothing to do with it. It's just an amusing phrase, partly because 'mother' can be construed as being in the scope of the 'the', i.e. 'the cat and the mother'. The other reason it's funny is that the combination of cats and violence is inherently funny, at least in principle. I'm sure in reality it may be less funny.
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 26-Aug-02/5:27 PM | Reply
I have not been paying any attention to god's wife (aka Ms Gloria, although I cannot call her that anymore). My point is if you change the scope of your critique so you give the illusion of being kind and cuddly to poems (and I guarantee you there are some who will take it that way) and revert into pure satire we are, in a sense, losing an element that makes this site tick. As far as this poem goes, I kept the articles in the poem and chose "cat" for a specific reason and I think you are picking up on it.
[8] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 27-Aug-02/5:57 AM | Reply
i like it p&k. very effective.
[n/a] deleted user @ 12.226.26.67 | 27-Aug-02/7:33 PM | Reply
It sounds like a child wrote it.. oh yea.. you are a child right? You did say that you were 6 didn't you? Well, I must say.. who are you to go around rating every's poems as a 0? When the only poem that I would rate a zero.... IS YOUR'S! If I do say so myself...
your poems are actually kind of funny! Stop writing like a 2 year old and maybe your poems will get better ratings!
[n/a] anagram @ 195.92.168.166 | 27-Aug-02/7:37 PM | Reply
Hate to state the obvious but given the title of the piece it was it would seem written by somebody's child.
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.211.101 | 27-Aug-02/8:01 PM | Reply
Hey Swishy, post some poetry.
[n/a] deleted user @ 12.226.26.67 | 27-Aug-02/8:46 PM | Reply
Maybe it's not my place to say but I do understand where Swishy is coming from. It's seems like very few people on this site understand what poetry is about. It's about someone writing how they feel and about who they are. It's someone sharing a part of them. And when someone shares there poem.. it's showing their soul. So, I think we all need to remember that. When people put there thought's on this site they are asking for others oppion.. and that takes courage. (A courage I do not have which is why I will never post anything on this site.) When someone shares a poem they are asking for criticism... but that doesn't mean when critiszing you have to be rude. Who can tell a person how you feel by by polite! So just remember this please!
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 27-Aug-02/8:51 PM | Reply
Yeah, well that's just bollocks, isn't it? What an incredibly narrow concept of poetry. Such melodramatic ideas as 'soul' aren't needed to say what poetry is.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 27-Aug-02/9:06 PM | Reply
You just said that. Do you feel hurt when people criticise your poetry? I do not feel hurt when people criticise mine. Perhaps you post poetry as some sort of life-affirming experience, or as therapy, or to gain approval. Otherwise I cannot see why you would be hurt. I will hit you with the cat and mother if you post that comment again.
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.212.43 | 27-Aug-02/10:11 PM | Reply
Anotherday242: on your profile it says you signed up to receive comments by e-mail, but you posted no poetry. So you can't. Post something.
[n/a] poetandknowit @ | 27-Aug-02/10:43 PM | Reply
Swishy24 I am so sorry I criticized your work of genius and forced you to take your poem of the site and run and tell mother. However, it sucked. I cannot change the way I feel, and I think what I said about the poem was extremely constructive and poignant. See, I am not fighting my hormones and contemplating suicide at every step so I can write deep dark sentimental poor me sap. My poems involve skill that you would not even begin to understand because you are still reading Judy Blume and Harry Potter books. Hone your skills in puberty and then come back and post. I am tired of reading crap. And one last note: I did not give you a 0. It was not worth rating by number in my opinion. Someone else must love your work also. As for Anotherday, shut up if you do not post. Get some thick skin. "Oh poetry is about sharing and caring and expressing your soul" Please, start reading serious poets and quit wasting our time.
[8] <~> @ 24.44.185.41 | 27-Aug-02/10:46 PM | Reply
there you go, p&k, using the banal or your steel again
[7] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 12-Sep-02/1:32 AM | Reply
If I were you commenting on this poem, P&K, I would, 'oh another poem about urban American working folk. Bored again. Yawn'. It seems that we all have our favourite little subjects doesn't it? It's called experience and observation from our lives. But as I'm not you I won't draw attention to such a blindingly obvious point and then pretend that it's a crucial critical insight. Instead I shall say I like this, including the 'cat and mother'. But you need to put some birds in it...
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.211.63 > Christof | 12-Sep-02/5:46 AM | Reply
Actually, this poem is a bit of a joke. Anyway, merry old England does not have an urban working class and domestic violence. The ratio of wife beater does not go up after a big soccer match loss.
[7] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > poetandknowit | 12-Sep-02/5:51 AM | Reply
Was that my point? No, it wasn't. My point was, I can't pretend to be urban working class and a witness to domestic violence and then write about because I would be a fraud if I did. If you know about these, good for you, crack on. I'm lucky enough not to. So lay off my birds! And if you think there's some kind of special superiority inherent in your experience, then you're falling into all kinds of Romantic fallacies about the artist and suffering.
[n/a] ==Doylum @ 213.122.78.96 > Christof | 12-Sep-02/6:41 AM | Reply
Yeah polaranddontseemtoknowit. New titles for ye - How I hate shades of grey, or perhaps Black and white are all I need, or even I want to bleach the world to see in perfect monotone.
I love You Handshandy be my wife
[7] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > ==Doylum | 12-Sep-02/6:43 AM | Reply
Um, what happens if I refuse?
[n/a] ==Doylum @ 213.122.78.96 > Christof | 12-Sep-02/7:00 AM | Reply
I shall be forced to hunt you down and drag you back to the moors with you button mushroom. I shall hide you in my coal bunker and serenade you with an fressly created love poem with a blah blah blah refrain every night, until you yeild to my love.
Will that do for starter?
[7] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > ==Doylum | 12-Sep-02/7:07 AM | Reply
Gee whiz you really know how to treat a guy
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.213.210 > ==Doylum | 12-Sep-02/8:28 AM | Reply
Do you ever write anything that makes a half a bit of sense?
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.213.210 > Christof | 12-Sep-02/8:27 AM | Reply
Yes, I choose to write what I know and it does not have much to do with birds. And I think I do it effectively. The stuff is actually quite simple and I am not trying to thrust an artistic experience on anyone. I do not have any notions of the artistic experience, considering I am a journalist. I never make banal statements like "life sucks" or write depressing pimple poems about mundane overburdened subjects. And if you continue to write about birds, I will continue to make note of it. Love P&K.
[7] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > poetandknowit | 12-Sep-02/8:31 AM | Reply
Well that's alright then. We part on civil terms, secure in the knowledge that birds and urbs will be duly notified and logged. Go well my friend.
[10] livingcanvas @ 66.218.235.104 | 20-Sep-02/1:12 PM | Reply
wow, very intense. impressive. definite 10.
[2] strider1 @ 212.159.107.13 | 9-Oct-02/12:14 PM | Reply
Whilst mother copulated with the stray dogs no doubt, using her grecian urn as a receiver-you can do batter(sic) than this-3/10
[2] strider1 @ 212.159.107.13 | 9-Oct-02/12:15 PM | Reply
no wait its sardonic humour
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 29-Nov-02/2:50 AM | Reply
wow! 10/15 aint bad..not bad, but dude does it ever bother you that you have the face of a mud snorting pig and the ass of a lowland mountain guerilla...i mean just an observation...you just keep getting more predictable by the fucking minute..un-fucking-believable, you must sleep well at night, tell your little toadies i said hello, and feel fortunate i didn't squat down here and take a twelve foot shit and play with it for about an hour, and start doing my new chick chick shaw chick sha-doobie shaw rap...it's dope and would leave you calling your "peeps", to adjust your votes, not that you don't every day anyway for no apparent reason other than the fact that your a fucking hack..i use to have respect for you man, but what? that's wasn't enough..you have to go and take the worst year out of my life, and say i'm making it up...then turn around and have your whore friends start fucking with the only good things in my life..you think that's fucking funny? you think i didn't have a shit life... FUCK YOU MAN! I WAS RAISED IN A TRAILOR WITH MY GRANDMOTHER....SHE WOULD MAKE ME GET OUT OF BED EVERY HOUR AND CHANGE THE CHANNEL ON THE TV AND MAKE HER A SCREWDRIVERs...SO DON'T FUCK WITH ME MAN...DON'T GO THERE1 ha...just..chicky shawing, but in actuallity growing up in a bad neighbor hood and getting accidentally shot (his horror story, so now we know what's wrong with you, you got shot in the head tsk tsk..no wonder) is quite trite compared to me and my crew my home boy 'chuckles' his parents have been divorced seven times each man...he's just waiting for me to unlock him...easy chuckles whoa boy....
[9] Nicholas Monson @ 195.92.67.68 | 5-Dec-02/8:36 AM | Reply
Heh, PK, you're top division. Great stuff. No quarrel with it. 9
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 11-Dec-02/4:53 PM | Reply
is it...could it be?...no it couldn't!, but yes..once again 'not confessionally confessional poetry', by none other than..? you got it mr. poetry. not just any normal poem boys and girls but a riveting american staple that you to can purchase at wallmart in the form of a taxidermied mallard with a brass enscribed plaque. thanks uncle charlie! i'll put it right next to the rocket i built last week...say,,will you fire her off with my at the play ground this afternoon uncle charlie..that'd be swell.l
[5] Ranger @ 212.219.142.161 | 8-Jan-03/12:56 AM | Reply
Daysleeper, DAY-AY-SLEEEEPER
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