| Re: Evening by unknown |
28-Aug-02/6:23 AM |
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easy. easy. yes, comments have been sarcastic recently. it happens. i did not appreciate the censorship, perceived or real. i see it was not intentional; fine. but your poems all sound the same. diversify?
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| Re: Tryst by <~> |
28-Aug-02/6:19 AM |
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yeah. keeps me warm at night too. hahahahaha. ha.
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| Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles |
28-Aug-02/12:11 AM |
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| Re: 'The Grey' Triplet by Shin-Bojangles |
28-Aug-02/12:03 AM |
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alas! an enya tune! and i am already weary....
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| Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles |
28-Aug-02/12:01 AM |
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my mom would then thank him for helping her out--she prefers 'trifle' to actual cake; that's where you break it up and mix it in a bowl with coolwhip and pudding and skors bars... i don't thing he'd go for that. do you? he'd weep all over his glitt'ring blade...
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| Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles |
27-Aug-02/11:59 PM |
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dude, i could make a cake shaped like a dark fortress, and he could hack it to bits with Narsil
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| Re: Fetch by Limness |
27-Aug-02/11:53 PM |
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he dug up the yard/he chewed my damn slippers/ he ate all the garbage/except for the kippers...
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| Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles |
27-Aug-02/11:51 PM |
something that makes no sense, coming from off the previous statement. my mom is a master of it: me: mom, what time are you coming over for dinner? mom: do you know if your father is going to grandpa's today? welcome to my world. 1 hour later, she'll call and ask what time she should come over.... if i could borrow aragorn, or even an orc...dinner is at 7...
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| Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles |
27-Aug-02/11:42 PM |
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and, let's not leave out the coalesced nonsequiters...OMG!! i just made it EVEN LONGER...
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| Re: Intense Irrational Realities by Venus |
27-Aug-02/11:37 PM |
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indeed! well since i'm on a roll with buttah, i'll make one more suggestion: 'or is it merely a series/of lines loosed on squiggles/ black knobbed on grey, an etch-a-sketch maasterpiece'
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| Re: Fetch by Limness |
27-Aug-02/11:30 PM |
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excellent suggestion. here's my stanza: he don't bark at strangers/he don't chase the cat/ the mailman's his friend/what's up with that??
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| Re: Intense Irrational Realities by Venus |
27-Aug-02/11:27 PM |
is this one of those, 'i'll show you mine' jobbers? heheheh. seriously, though, you could tighten this by dropping 'child's' in s3--it's unnecessary; maybe say 'cradled in antique gold'
? musings, musings...
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| Re: Godly by brazen |
27-Aug-02/11:22 PM |
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lose the commas and the typo in the last line brazen. they'll get over it. sounds like they were living through you, and now you've gone and got individualized. high crime, that is.
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| Re: Tryst by <~> |
27-Aug-02/11:15 PM |
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| Re: Tryst by <~> |
27-Aug-02/11:10 PM |
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p&k, i usually do leave quiet those things i am close too. i think this one will stay, and the other one, without metaphos, as mrs g nailed it, will find it's way back into the annals of 'things i thought once but don't want to ever see again, or else i'd have to admit to...' you know the file i mean? any way, it wouldn't be the first poem to appear for a limited engagement, and then disappear into the dark from whence it came...
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| Re: Tryst by <~> |
27-Aug-02/11:07 PM |
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no, p&k, you got it right, the mixing of elemental forces...didn't know which would prevail--head, loins, heart...
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| Re: denied by <~> |
27-Aug-02/10:57 PM |
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is it just that's it's all spelled/spilled out?
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| Re: denied by <~> |
27-Aug-02/10:56 PM |
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okay, so song lyrics are bad poetry. but, how to make it better, mrs g? give it 6 more months, and reduce it by half?
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| Re: Tryst by <~> |
27-Aug-02/10:49 PM |
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dammit! someone's been playing with my 'f' key. i have to bang it to get it to print. so, _ill the eff's in yerselves, fer tonight, as they seem to be evaporating...
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| Re: Tryst by <~> |
27-Aug-02/10:47 PM |
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my only regret is that we didn't. god help him i get him alone some night...
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