regarding some deleted poem...	24-Oct-05/11:26 AM
this line doesn't jibe for me: It is almost like a dream today, because you are out of time, now. or at least that's the mood you set with the opening strophe.
Re: Ruins by Caducus	24-Oct-05/11:27 AM
the ending is quite lyrical, cad, but somehow the rest falls short.
Re: Send The Devil... by horus8	24-Oct-05/11:29 AM
it's good to read you again.
Re: Take Heart Mr. Drake, the Worst is Behind You by wilco	26-Oct-05/10:06 AM
i like this.
Re: i hung that page to dry by FreeFormFixation	26-Oct-05/10:19 AM
the sounds in these first 5 stanzas are gorgeous!! the last two stanzas don't pack the punch the first 5 do. this is a weak simile: til all they heard from me was silence like a silent willow tree. all in all, you weaken the poem when you resolve it. ood, that.
Re: when i make sculpture by ay deee	26-Oct-05/10:20 AM
excellent visuals here.
Re: Aurora by Aetius	16-Nov-05/10:52 AM
nice one.
Re: Birmingham gardens by INTRANSIT	9-Jan-06/8:01 AM
this is a great poem, RIch. here's a great tool to start to find markets for your work: http://www.duotrope.com/digest/index.aspx
Re: Cocoon by Caducus	9-Jan-06/9:15 AM
hi Cad, this one feels like two poems, mostly because of the way you've rhymed the last 2 stanzas. I like the metaphors you use in the first half as well, but then you drop them when you go into love-mode. is there some way you can meld these disparate halves?
Re: floss every day by digipoet	9-Jan-06/9:21 AM
imagine the follow-your-bliss existence you'd have if you could floss twice? i likes it.
Re: Uncontrolled scribblings one luch break by Nicholas Jones	9-Jan-06/10:44 AM
no need for apologiy. i question the need for the stanza on footballers. i'm missing the relationship to the seasonality of the rest of it. then again, maybe the january fog has got to me as well.
Re: Duff firs, Nawal by zodiac	9-Jan-06/10:52 AM
i like it. in english. and i like the way my ill-informed pronunciation makes it sound in arabic.
Re: Construction Lot (edit) by zodiac	9-Jan-06/10:58 AM
the wet trash can cross it but you cannot, do not. in my heart twice in S1 does not seem intentional, and maybe should be an edit. drop "just" from S3 L1; it's a filler word. nice linebreak at S3 L2 beautiful ending. love it that mirror sky subtextually tells me about the puddles, the melt in warming March.
Re: Oh Verrazano by Joe-joe	10-Jan-06/8:35 AM
there are some nice moments here. i especially enjy\oy the metaphor of the steel and iron as her dress. i think that the rhyme you use distractst he reader. since it came first, i looked for the whole thing to have rhythm and rhyme, and was a little disappointed when it didn't hold throughout.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jan-06/8:39 AM
good solution to the set-up.
Re: Mittens by somemorepoetry	10-Jan-06/8:53 AM
when mittens turn, they fall? the title into the first line misleads me. i know what you are talking about, i just don't like the stretch.
Re: Sleep It All Away by somemorepoetry	10-Jan-06/8:55 AM
you say you just need a friend. man, that's the worst place to be, ever. wrap her up in that blanket, why don't you.
Re: After the Storm by somemorepoetry	10-Jan-06/8:58 AM
"And shoved in to rest in the silt from the north Fields grown tired with potatoes." really nice work, here.
Re: light [edited] by lmp	10-Jan-06/9:04 AM
still, it's not a complete image, even if it is a lovely one. the hard-ass in me wants a complete image from my haiku.
Re: She Crab by http://mulberryfairy	10-Jan-06/9:14 AM
"She flips suddenly, too soon, the child startles back " the child flips, or the crab flips? I can't tell if the crab is/was alive/dead, and i want to know. clarifying this will clarify all. i agree about the too, too solid flesh; i don't see it as solid at all. that being said, this is a great moment. you dropped us right into it.