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i hung that page to dry (Free verse) by FreeFormFixation
i set said paintbrush to the easel of my flesh and let the flecks of paint speak for the spoken silence in a senseless reverie. and let the silver strands of moonlight dance upon my naked breast as the curtains fell like fireworks fall to the floor as ash. i hung the photograph to dry within the round red room and turned the faucet on to mask the sound of vomiting beyond the door. I rubbed my fingers down the sides of the moist and frigid toilet bowl as the faucet bent like wires bend and sag when meat is hung from them. i scraped off all the wallpaper with shredded fingernails and littered marble and linoleum with shaving-blood drop trails. til all they heard from me was silence like a silent willow tree. as the curtains climbed like fireworks climb through decaying leaves. i hung that page to dry.

Down the ladder: Love

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.1666665
Weighted score: 5.313765
Overall Rank: 3550
Posted: October 25, 2005 1:41 AM PDT; Last modified: October 25, 2005 1:41 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] zodiac @ 217.144.7.195 | 25-Oct-05/3:03 AM | Reply
Are you painting a photograph? Touching-up?
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 | 25-Oct-05/7:28 AM | Reply
speak for the spoken silence - maybe leave out spoken.
fall to the floor as ash - maybe leave out fall.
[n/a] FreeFormFixation @ 70.225.166.245 > Dovina | 25-Oct-05/10:25 PM | Reply
redundancy is too fun, english is one of the few languages that frowns upon it
[6] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 26-Oct-05/10:19 AM | Reply
the sounds in these first 5 stanzas are gorgeous!!

the last two stanzas don't pack the punch the first 5 do.

this is a weak simile:

til all they heard from me was silence
like a silent willow tree.

all in all, you weaken the poem when you resolve it. ood, that.


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