| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Cocoon (Free verse) by Caducus Her heart raced like a Mothers shadow leaving
A nine year chrysalis grieved
For injured butterflies that live just a day
then die as silk for wind.
Raised by a love ghost
Haunted by a love ghost
The daughter of her Father raised herself
Like Lazarus from her own hands
A resurrection of faith, of strength
As Judas wept for painted nails
On painted smiles and a new lovers back.
I think of the daughter
Who I am falling for
And she has fell before
Bleeding but yet she got up
And scared of loving too much
For she raised from womb to cocoon
And loved herself with a knowledge
That I at thirty two am learning of.
Fall in love and fly
You donât have to land with me
Fall in love and kiss the sky
Lay like tide on sand with me.
Fall in love and see my Sun
You can rise and set with me
Fall in love we've just begun
I'll not be just a memory.
Up the ladder:
Light in the Darkness
Down the ladder:
Dear Will,
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: January 9, 2006 1:32 AM PST; Last modified: January 9, 2006 6:44 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.9525743 Overall Rank: 8793 Comments:
[6]
cyan9 @ 217.40.63.105
|
9-Jan-06/6:21 AM
|
Reply
Nice ending, not the most seductive or venomous portrayal of an evil woman though.
hi Cad,
this one feels like two poems, mostly because of the way you've rhymed the last 2 stanzas. I like the metaphors you use in the first half as well, but then you drop them when you go into love-mode. is there some way you can meld these disparate halves?
You've caped all line beginnings except Line 4.
Thirty two should be thirty-two. I like hso hoping/longing in the last few lines. 254 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
