Re: Don't Say You Understand by cuddlytiger17	21-May-04/11:02 PM
There is so much more that could have been displayed here. It seems you focus your words like a bullet, but you limit the meaning by using a weak hand gun. he gained an enemy, Lost a love, and destroyed himself All in the same day Oh yeah, I do understand. Those lines are beautiful. I have. March 7th 2004. -9-
Re: Ten by horus8	21-May-04/11:24 PM
You never cease to amaze.
Re: Dial Tone by cuddlytiger17	21-May-04/11:35 PM
hmmm... seems a little lacking of... Something... Like substance, not so much depth more... purpose or drive, but I'm looking for a better word... Damn it. Someone able to help me figure what this lacks? No vote for now.
Re: The Unseen by cuddlytiger17	21-May-04/11:43 PM
Allow your eye to do the only bleeding you cause yourself. Tears work so much better... Trust me I know... I almost married a "cutter" -8-
Re: Battered and Bruised by erickvisions	21-May-04/11:51 PM
Saddism, bad. Pimple/Lyrics(Hint: what this really is) need work. Way too much focus on ryhme. emotion, worked it up but not in any interestingly new style. -4-
Re: Old Friends by sliver	21-May-04/11:53 PM
beautifully expression.
Re: Jade Milieu by Enkidu	21-May-04/11:55 PM
Matter Piece. Absolute Matter!!! -9-
Re: can't take the heat? by peaceseeker	21-May-04/11:58 PM
Welcome to Hell's Kitchen
regarding some deleted poem...	21-May-04/11:59 PM
lol
Re: Litany by zodiac	22-May-04/12:01 AM
touching... really...
Re: Don't Say You Understand by cuddlytiger17	23-May-04/9:20 PM
Until he discerns what it’s like to become a "woman" In such a deranged way Lose that, and EVER AGAIN! Read it without them, your words strike a broader range, and still say exactly what you wanted them to. Perhaps another forceful ending would be better, but that really depends on your personal taste.
Re: The Virgin by cleverdevice	24-May-04/1:12 AM
A master piece to be hung with next to a cheap reprint altered in photo shop of that one painting... by that guy... but anyway, genius. I love it. It gave me the shniggles.
Re: am i on speaker phone? good~ by peaceseeker	24-May-04/10:54 AM
too personal without any true depth. Just Emoting, and not even very strongly. Nice imagery but it feels like its coming from nowhere only to end up going nowhere. No suggestions, because I'm not really sure how you could make this better.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jun-04/10:57 AM
Damned you and your spanish! I actually care whats under the line of stars, but I'm too lazy to translate it. Interestingly a paradox of its own sort.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jun-04/11:04 AM
Maybe its just me, but it reads increbible in a Will Shatner kinda way. Rather pretty, with lots of good itellectual images. Its tied together like one of those ribbons you mentioned knotted into a bow. -10-
Re: Bugs by INTRANSIT	10-Jun-04/11:07 AM
Yes, humans are rather limited in the beauty of death. -10-
Re: The daisy-chain girl by richa	10-Jun-04/11:13 AM
Wow, vague with a great sense of inner wisdom being displayed, but I still feel as though I missed it. I love the slothful line 'shake the low branches
Re: The Freemasons by Bachus	17-Jun-04/12:54 PM
Ow! Ow! Do the Illuminati Next!!! Or C.E.R.N., Inventing the Internet. At least get into the Wonderous decussion of Peak Oil?! Anti-matter!?! Bio-Organics perhaps? Or anything Else Mentioned In "ANGELS AND DEMONS" by Dan Brown.
Re: Bankruptcy by INTRANSIT	17-Jun-04/7:07 PM
So much said, so few words word.
Re: West Coast Epilogue (Pseudo Triolet) by wilco	17-Jun-04/7:12 PM
Next time you choose an incredible place not to go, try and make it little more map dot as it were. Way more could be said about California. I'll leave it at that.