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The daisy-chain girl (Free verse) by richa The length of a daisy chain
is no measure,
we are not in ancient rome,
one must do like us to live
in the orchard--
'shake the low branches
till apples are dropped
and buckets are full
and stalks
are to be re-hung
with new fruit'
'or one's knotted daisies'.
Up the ladder:
Three Fall
Down the ladder:
The Peccadillary
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 8.7
Posted: February 17, 2004 7:12 AM PST; Last modified: June 10, 2004 4:43 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.85 Overall Rank: 315 Comments:
Very pretty. I don't get the ancient Rome bit either - is this an erudite allusion? If so, please enlighten us, I'm intrigued!
Yes, the ancient rome bit was in reference to the resourcefulness of their measurement system.
A metaphor for how everything has a value (spriritual vs mathematic) in itself as knowledge.
Put an extra verse as the poem did not state the girl was making daisy chains on the grass, still.
'we are not in ancient rome' 'with chains and feet'? (two roman measures).
Buttery, lovely and locked up. Not unlike my buns!
You make me work so hard with your poetry.
I understand dandelions and litter (putting a flowerpot over them for extended cultivation). and I can *almost* see your connections with the measure, the clock, the stepping; these incremental units. They are, supposedly, linked somehow. You say "spriritual vs mathematic" - have you been reading Spinoza before bedtime again??? Maybe some Tipler?
For making me work -10-
I'm way off but, my mind went the filthy route first, but on a second read I thought it was about the practice of poetry. A daisy chain being ones older and of lesser quality poems. Damn. Sorry I missed the first cut too. 10 for your poem 6 for me being an idiot.
Wow, vague with a great sense of inner wisdom being displayed, but I still feel as though I missed it. I love the slothful line 'shake the low branches
I'm comfuzzled. The 'us' isn't clear, who are 'us'? You're structure is only the best. If I take each line individually they're lovely but what does it all mean?
The us are the other people in the orchard who are shaking the apples. The daisy chain girl is hearing their voices.
The first quote is the voice of tradition/ scripture. The second quote (final line)is the other people in the orchard arguing from the tradition/ scripture of the first quote.
"do like [we do]"
the verb "to be" is a bit overdone here, R.
there used to be apricot trees and a kickass orchard by my house and i'd go and pick them and cherry plums every summer...now its all gone..all thats left is an ugly dried up field.
Lyrically, I have no problem. The language is tightly-wound and it sounds good. The issue I take, though, is more typographical in nature. The enjambment of the lines and that punctuation aren't doing anything for me, and I find it a little distracting to the point where it's detracting from my enjoyment of the piece.
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Measure being a play on measure of someones worth