Bankruptcy

by INTRANSIT

Member since 2002 · Posted 17 Jun 2004 · Edited 19 Jul 2004 · 5 comments

The lion looms his panting tongue hangs deadly dri p dri p

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 7.50 weighted 5.67 rank 2034 views 259 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

5 comments

[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom 17-Jun-04/7:07 PM Reply

So much said, so few words word.

[9] Shuushin 21-Jun-04/6:40 PM Reply

heheh - this is good.

[10] edpeterson 7-Jul-04/6:17 AM Reply

i am not entirely sure, but i don't think that the word "loom" can be used as a transitive verb. perhaps move the word loom to the first line or use a comma.

this goes well with part 2, and is pretty good, and even a bit funny.

[n/a] INTRANSIT › edpeterson 19-Jul-04/3:05 PM Reply

I liked the wordplay but it did seem as though I was sitting beneath a loom while the lion weaved his tongue into a throw rug.
had to kill it.

[10] SupremeDreamer 22-Jul-04/5:56 AM Reply

Much better. Ten.