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Bankruptcy (Free verse) by INTRANSIT

The lion looms his panting tongue hangs deadly dri p dri p

edpeterson 7-Jul-04/6:17 AM
i am not entirely sure, but i don't think that the word "loom" can be used as a transitive verb. perhaps move the word loom to the first line or use a comma.

this goes well with part 2, and is pretty good, and even a bit funny.




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