| Re: Drowsy by elderking |
29-Jun-05/7:30 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Jun-05/7:33 PM |
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| Re: The And women by INTRANSIT |
6-Jul-05/8:42 AM |
"plying a fiddle."
Interesting poem.
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| Re: Because to Live I Must by TLRufener |
6-Jul-05/8:49 AM |
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All the words melt together in an unappealing stew of a novice Witchâs brew.
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| Re: Mother Earth by TLRufener |
6-Jul-05/9:03 AM |
Your poem leaves me with the sense that Mother Earth has no love for winter and that in fact sheâs dead throughout the entire season. Is that what you intended?
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| Re: A Place by Celtic |
6-Jul-05/9:54 AM |
This poem could be great. I found it too simple. Perhaps if you gave us more a sense of its Magic.
How does this place feel? We know the wind is always calm but how does it look? How does it smell? How is it lit? What time of day are we seeing it, In moonlight, starlight, sunshine?
The descriptions are flat and matter of fact and because of this, the poem loses its Magic.
Iâd love to see this reworked. Paint it more vivid. Take us somewhere enchanted!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Jul-05/10:00 AM |
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Change the title to âDeath Danceâ and change the last word to dip.
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| Re: Crack baby by Caducus |
6-Jul-05/10:04 AM |
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Fix line 2 and this is a 10.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Jul-05/10:09 AM |
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| Re: Butterfly Plague by zodiac |
8-Jul-05/8:49 AM |
"Here's a naked-necked girl laughing
in a square, thumbnail sawing an orange-skin.
How grey and soft-bodied, these! "
Vivid image. I can smell the tang.
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| Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222 |
8-Jul-05/10:47 AM |
Itâs strange but I feel guilty. The kind of guilt one might feel after reading someoneâs diary.
This work is so personal, so strong. It should be rolled up and tied up with the small red string that she left for you in that box. Thereâs more to say but I canât.
Thank You.
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| Re: a.m. by oneglove |
11-Jul-05/7:41 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Jul-05/7:46 PM |
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| Re: Skellington Bakery by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
8-Aug-06/7:55 PM |
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You DO Love me! You really DO Love me! *swoon*
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| Re: Hey by impert&ent |
16-Oct-17/1:31 PM |
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| Re: A spectacular poem by a handsome man by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
16-Oct-17/2:07 PM |
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You had me at "coalishly pinched twin sink holes."
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| Re: The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w |
16-Oct-17/2:14 PM |
"I wear only the best" could've been better. Yeah, that line sucks. The rest, flows like stuff that flows good.
6
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| Re: Cupid promised me, Nadine by Shardik |
16-Oct-17/2:22 PM |
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I give the comments a 7! Bravo!
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| Re: Muslim woman at the office by zodiac |
16-Oct-17/2:42 PM |
Awww shucks, no husks.
The quote from the pool party has no place in the office. 4
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| Re: Victoria Applesmack and the Easy to Clean Wonder-Spleen by T. Jonathron Remp |
17-Oct-17/2:58 PM |
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Tardigrades need friends too!
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