poemranker ::A Place by Celtic

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Other № 128167

A Place

by Celtic

Member since 2005 · Posted 3 Jul 2005 · 7 comments

Let me take you to a place, far beneath the moon Where pixies dance on flowers, not yet in full bloom A place beyond prying eyes, without fear of strangers A sacred place, That has not many dangers Where leprechauns count their gold, like it’s going out of style Little hollow out trees, hold little bright smiles The wind is always calm, And the stream ever flowing The grass so green, And not a weed to be seen! It’s just a little haven, In here behind the waterfall For all magic things, Big or small I really must get going, There’s a game about to start It’s called “Catch the leprechaun“, So I really must depart!

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mean 4.25 weighted 4.80 rank 11191 views 208 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

7 comments

[4] Nuit 3-Jul-05/2:50 PM Reply
Charming, in a child like way. Made me smile.
[6] Craychus 3-Jul-05/7:53 PM Reply
the first stanza builds up an expectation which the ending doesn't really satisfy. nonetheless i think it's a fairly good work in a nursery rhyme kind of way. thank you for sharing.
[4] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 3-Jul-05/9:59 PM Reply
I didn't like it, because it doesn't do what i do. Then I read it again because I'm a bigot. Then it was fun.
[5] Taco 3-Jul-05/11:46 PM Reply
Very Cute. It gives the reader a sense of calm, but torwards the end it begins this whole new thing, and you wonder where that sense of calmness went. But it's still a very cute poem.
[6] Dovina 4-Jul-05/10:48 AM Reply
"hollowed out trees"
If it has a deeper meaning, I missed it.
[4] Bluemonkey 6-Jul-05/8:25 AM Reply
Not big on Leprechauns and Pixies.
[4] Lenore 6-Jul-05/9:54 AM Reply
This poem could be great. I found it too simple. Perhaps if you gave us more a sense of its Magic.
How does this place feel? We know the wind is always calm but how does it look? How does it smell? How is it lit? What time of day are we seeing it, In moonlight, starlight, sunshine?
The descriptions are flat and matter of fact and because of this, the poem loses its Magic.
I’d love to see this reworked. Paint it more vivid. Take us somewhere enchanted!