| Re: Sonneting the samples & green eyes by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
3-May-03/7:45 AM |
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interesting. almost too random. i can't quite get a hold of it. you have some wicked lines in there though. 6
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| Re: Too Long by Luv2write |
3-May-03/7:43 AM |
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hmmm. its good. its kind of the same old same old though. if it was written with more poetical oomph it might gain a better vote from me. 4
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| Re: Hippy chic under the bleachers by Shardik |
3-May-03/7:34 AM |
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haha. this is beautiful. 8.
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| Re: When We Parted by anitawit |
3-May-03/7:32 AM |
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thats a really interesting idea. i like it. 7
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| Re: Beauty, sleeping (revised) by Ranger |
2-May-03/5:37 PM |
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i really like this. it made me laugh, plus it's good poetry. it reads really smoothly...except for the "fairies, too". it just gave me a jolt like "wait a second..oh fairies..". with a better transition it would be simply wonderful! (you could even make it "my, what a big heart you have"...it seems even funnier to me) 7
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| Re: a comment on kruder&dorfmeister by rockinindividual |
1-May-03/5:59 PM |
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yeah i made some adjustments earlier this week...they're posted now. i know what you mean about something holding it back. ive been struggling with this piece for a few weeeks now. if you still feel that way with the new changes (i still do) let me know...you just might be the thing that will set this poem free. also...the last poem i did...which one do you mean? ive written more on my sunset conversation poem...if thats what you meant. its posted as a separate version.
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| Re: My good friend Nick by Bobjim the II |
28-Apr-03/6:05 PM |
i know a guy named nick
he makes me laugh
but i think your poem makes me laugh harder
9 for well constructed vulgarity
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| Re: a comment on kruder&dorfmeister by rockinindividual |
16-Apr-03/5:46 PM |
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if it would work better, tell me. im totally open...capitalization has only not worked in most of my other stuff. theres no bad time to start!
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| Re: FRAGILE by calilegzzz |
16-Apr-03/1:54 PM |
this is a piece of third grade crap in my opinion.
theres nothing about it that will stand out, that will make me remember it. its something i might have read before from some lovestruck wanna be elementary school poet. try again, my dear. 0.
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| Re: a new generation by blurryphotograph |
2-Apr-03/6:04 AM |
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i dont know exactly what it is about this one...but i do believe that it just may be the best poem of yours that i have ever read. in my whole entire lifetime. the whole entire 16 years. ((16!!!:)) yeah i think i would give it a SEVENTEEN. damn restrictions
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| Re: Lossing Grip by Katie2 |
1-Apr-03/12:43 PM |
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my first clue that this might not rock my world was that the title was spelled wrong...and i dont know, its okay, but it just seems like more of the "oh poor suicidal me lets see if i can cut myself deeper and feel better" crap that im getting sick of. plus you spelled several things wrong. however, your rhyme scheme is pretty good, its not too incredibly forced, and you do have several really good lines in there. i bet that with a little rewriting this could be extremely awesome...for now...5
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| Re: wandering, north by <~> |
20-Mar-03/2:09 PM |
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mmm....its missing something, im too distanced from it for some reason. 5.
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| Re: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike |
20-Mar-03/2:08 PM |
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haha. that says it all. 8.
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| Re: a comment on iodine and baby oil by rockinindividual |
19-Mar-03/3:06 PM |
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i revised this 3/19/03...hope the revisions improve it
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| Re: the salt shaker by elizabethann |
18-Mar-03/4:51 AM |
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mmm thats such an interesting idea. i love it. 8
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| Re: myself by decadentlaurel |
25-Jan-03/1:39 PM |
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| Re: The Sands Of Time by squall1leonheart |
25-Jan-03/1:38 PM |
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you need to work on your spelling...and maybe reorganize it a little so its easier to read..everything just seems to blur together the way it is now...3
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| Re: Conversations with a Clock II by morffrom |
25-Jan-03/1:37 PM |
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haha i love that. thats great!!...10 all the way
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| Re: The Masonic Underling & the 33 degree by horus8 |
25-Jan-03/1:33 PM |
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"I love you alone." thats great, i like that...6
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| Re: calendared by cobalt |
25-Jan-03/1:30 PM |
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i love the "breathes length into the day" interesting image..6
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