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iodine and baby oil (Free verse) by rockinindividual
"remember when he rubbed iodine and baby oil onto his arms?" they asked gathered around a table immersed in memories of the war days when his arms had glistened tan with the improvised sunscreen i didn't remember too young, they said my mind clearly saw his arms but they were tired, wrinkled and freckled, and covered in scabs each one marked by a date in black ink "for careful observation" they had said "to check his progress" they had said i assumed they had meant towards death but glad they didn't say it for my vision was already blurry with tears because it was leukemia and he was my grandfather those numbers bothered me written so carefully entered on a graph his life now a line, zooming towards zero his wounds mere numbers i silently shook my head to their rhetorical question wishing i could remember the iodine and baby oil days and forget his numbered wounds

Up the ladder: Child's Play
Down the ladder: Offence

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Weighted score: 4.8410625
Overall Rank: 10633
Posted: March 18, 2003 5:17 PM PST; Last modified: March 19, 2003 2:56 PM PST
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Comments:
[7] Blindproject217 @ 68.86.0.162 | 18-Mar-03/5:30 PM | Reply
The whole baby oil thing sounds a little wierd but works. Could have used a little more backround on the charecter maybe
[8] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 | 18-Mar-03/9:52 PM | Reply
There are some very interesting symbols and feelings twisting around in this piece. 8.
[n/a] rockinindividual @ 24.136.137.164 > Shardik | 19-Mar-03/3:06 PM | Reply
i revised this 3/19/03...hope the revisions improve it
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 > rockinindividual | 19-Mar-03/8:57 PM | Reply
AH. IT's A BIT BETTER oops, caps, but it could be structuraly improved dramaticaly with the right editor and approach, to get the tens anyhow. 9.
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