on Last flight of a goose by Bobjim
6 Jan 2004, 5:51 AM
In reverse this poem is ace!!!!
on Haiku 2004 by Princess_Snowflake
3 Jan 2004, 11:54 AM
You seem to have put effort into getting the syllable count correct. Unfortunately it should be 5-7-5 not 5-5-7.
Personally I would say abandon the syllable counting and just write something in the spirit of haiku.
This poem is by no stretch of the imagination a haiku, but nevertheless I find it cute.
Personally I would say abandon the syllable counting and just write something in the spirit of haiku.
This poem is by no stretch of the imagination a haiku, but nevertheless I find it cute.
on Haikus for Nentwined by horus8
3 Jan 2004, 10:16 AM
and tis the year of the monkey
replying on Petrarchan Sonnet about Love by emilyowey
2 Jan 2004, 3:29 PM
How can a sincere poem rhyme real with feel and night with light?
And you don't have to imagine who gave it a -0- because it says under view voting details.
By the way hipster flare is rather good
And you don't have to imagine who gave it a -0- because it says under view voting details.
By the way hipster flare is rather good
on A stitch by EAger to Offend
2 Jan 2004, 12:55 PM
What about the opioids that null extreme pains when the pain is no longer adaptive?
on Snowboarding, Sierra Nevada, 12/31/03 by Plaidypus
2 Jan 2004, 12:53 PM
Well written, a bit of the 'science' sounds too much like pop cosmology though.
on The Fire of My Mind by RubyDragonKnight
2 Jan 2004, 12:52 PM
Beta-blockers better still.
on metaphorically speaking by somemorepoetry
2 Jan 2004, 12:51 PM
Starts and ends with a nice clear voice, but gets a bit confusing in the middle
on O Death by lastobelus
2 Jan 2004, 12:43 PM
The parenthesesed part is pointless.
And the poem is kind of messy. Other than that very good.
And the poem is kind of messy. Other than that very good.
on I don't know why I love Def Lepard For Settle by horus8
31 Dec 2003, 2:19 PM
'the drummer from def leopard has only one arm'?
Thats nothing, the guy who produces their records is a dog!
Thats nothing, the guy who produces their records is a dog!
on Emotions and the night by Evening
31 Dec 2003, 12:54 PM
the night smells spicy and sweet????
Other than that a well ordered poem and a killer last line.
Other than that a well ordered poem and a killer last line.
on Let's Play by jasondingus
31 Dec 2003, 12:40 PM
Kind of literate, but you may just bore your conquest to sleep with lines like :'Lift my shirt, above my head,Let it fall, beside the bed, Flesh on flesh, we shall be, I need you to, ravage me,'
It lacks a certain passion don't you think.
It lacks a certain passion don't you think.
on Drag me Down, Deadweight by phbiscuit
31 Dec 2003, 12:36 PM
Not sure where the walking comes from in the last line, or the cold for that matter (you said earlier the water was warmer where you were together- a rather sweet line).
Also I find such fantasies both overdone and to a certain extent melodramatic.
Other than that this is really good.
Also I find such fantasies both overdone and to a certain extent melodramatic.
Other than that this is really good.
on The Waning Spring by tuthaliash
31 Dec 2003, 12:32 PM
very sweet, lots of heart.
on Santa’s Journal 25thDec2003 by ShaNoN+960317485
29 Dec 2003, 12:24 PM
'Breasts of the garden uplands' - yes, clear image, interlocking spurs would be the geographical name I think.
Like the line breaks, very well crafted.
Just a thought, I guess a fun poem like this would benefit from some louder rhymes, like a roger mcgough's childrens poem.
Like the line breaks, very well crafted.
Just a thought, I guess a fun poem like this would benefit from some louder rhymes, like a roger mcgough's childrens poem.