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Santa’s Journal 25thDec2003 (Free verse) by ShaNoN+960317485
The sky lurks above me head, which bobs As I walk down the ever winding road To the breasts of the gardens uplands Ho – Ho The chimney is being swept Good old merry folks, jolly old merry souls Make ready, the time come neigh The day closes, shrinks and grows shorter in time Hold the cold, mists to meet the days as it dies Shivers that creep, wind that bites grows wings and fly Ho – Ho Start the fires upon the hearth Good Samaritans be ready its almost time For the gifts to the tree, for me to take Down the swept chimney, up to the warm beds I will tip with a toe, a smile on my rosy face Ho – Ho Kids, I see those peeking eyes Hear those quelling giggles and sighs Go back behind the covers and give a snore just for keeps All the while with a prying eye look out for me As I fill the socks hung or arrange it beneath the tree Ho – Ho My oh my, what is this I see Baked cake and lemonade just for me Thank you, thank you for everything For the warm hugs and smiles to me you bring For being so kind and generous to all humanity Ho – Ho Goodbye and happy new’er just from me To all’a you, keep well till again we meet

Up the ladder: Singing
Down the ladder: Monday Morning

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.25
Weighted score: 5.1490035
Overall Rank: 5288
Posted: December 29, 2003 1:28 AM PST; Last modified: December 29, 2003 1:28 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] ShaNoN+960317485 @ 199.40.206.3 | 29-Dec-03/1:31 AM | Reply
Was sitting on it since 25thDec, but did not find time till now. Hope it was a great Holiday n Happy New Year to all o'ya.
Cheers
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 29-Dec-03/4:55 AM | Reply
"quelling giggles" - nice
[n/a] ShaNoN+960317485 @ 199.40.206.3 > Shuushin | 29-Dec-03/6:53 PM | Reply
Man, thanx fr that:o)
[8] richa @ 81.178.227.18 | 29-Dec-03/12:24 PM | Reply
'Breasts of the garden uplands' - yes, clear image, interlocking spurs would be the geographical name I think.

Like the line breaks, very well crafted.

Just a thought, I guess a fun poem like this would benefit from some louder rhymes, like a roger mcgough's childrens poem.
[n/a] ShaNoN+960317485 @ 199.40.206.3 > richa | 29-Dec-03/6:52 PM | Reply
Thanx, would keep that in mind fr next time :o)
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