Re: The Gala Apple by peaceseeker	14-Nov-03/11:22 AM
nice descriptions, think it needs a main character if you are going to go into his psyche though with lines such as 'left to cling to his indignant assertion'. Like the line breaks too
Re: Reflection by Judas kiss	14-Nov-03/11:29 AM
don't think you need doppelganger and reflection. 'Love yourself' at the best is a cliche, at worse a distraction. v1 fourth line doesn't make much sense. 'On a straight mirror you stretch the glass' is an interesting line I quite like.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Nov-03/11:58 AM
Nice, but why 'they said the world is flat' would it not do without?
Re: Zinnias are a funny flower by Bachus	16-Nov-03/4:43 AM
like it was written in my soul
Re: Ranker Nazis by DreamerSupreme	16-Nov-03/4:44 AM
Spot on, and has always been the way
Re: My daddy taught me about being a good sport by horus8	16-Nov-03/4:45 AM
"He has a learning disability called. Nepotism.' is brilliant!!!!!
Re: Oh No! by foothangingoutofass	16-Nov-03/4:47 AM
Sylvia Plaths 'daddy' translated into chinese and now back.
Re: Anonymous Voters Of Zeros by scitz	17-Nov-03/12:13 PM
'Your left and right hand are your wives,' no more explanation needed.
Re: Truth by eyrbare	17-Nov-03/3:46 PM
The leaf is not violet to start with. Not being violet it is hidden (but how does heat hide). Comes to colour in autumn. We see it. This I think is the only way it makes sense but it is not the obvious interpretation. Also it is a million miles from my own understanding of truth. Other than that............ not bad.
Re: Lesson in Wickedness by eyrbare	21-Nov-03/8:32 AM
like it, can you get up to Z???
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Nov-03/9:13 AM
this damn thing again! I'm trying to develop techniques to be better edit my work. The last version read like this: Like a bridge the wind blows across the current waters ripple; lines of a frown. And delicate as a vein pencil thin drawn on the banks weathered jaw. A line where the river had risen, had fallen high to low like an anchor. Where we sat together, and knew winter would drown.
Re: sumerian translation by vermeer33	23-Nov-03/9:48 AM
Like the unusual phrasing of lines 3,4.
Re: The fight by INTRANSIT	23-Nov-03/9:50 AM
like the rhyme savoir faire and chairs. and how the end stops dead
Re: I have thirteen knives, and a sore riddled Black pussy by horus8	23-Nov-03/9:53 AM
Amusing wordplay, especially checked under his kilt for a pulse.
Re: Islands Of Our King by Caducus	24-Nov-03/1:55 PM
Like the bit about the islands, kind of makes me think about politicians in northern ireland. Funerals for political murders,usual suspects, turning up, blaming eachother, not breaking the cycle. Possibly needs to be a bit more clear how islands move together works as a metaphor, or is it figurative for the leaders?
Re: Don't fuck with Mr. Haiku by SupremeDreamer	27-Nov-03/8:36 AM
More a senryu (a haiku has a nature theme). Giving this a nature theme would be impressive. Good though, the soft feel of the words and then bang.
Re: Mr Zero? Your a coward. by DreamerSupreme	27-Nov-03/8:42 AM
same here (strangely at 3.30 every day)
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Nov-03/12:36 AM
Seems to be playing up the importance of technical terms. I think its broke - doesn't even know. Arrogance of someone thinking they can work something they know nothing about. Just a diy disaster. To a certain extent provokes thought, but the subject I just can't get excited about.
Re: Poets who are virgins? listen to Mr. Haiku. by Don-Quixote	28-Nov-03/5:00 AM
First ones the best, and a nature theme, I mean what could be more natural?
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Dec-03/11:35 AM
Has a very nice feel, and I like the addressing of the issue violence begetting violence. Not sure it is entirely appropriate though, you seem to stand back, coldly impinge on this battered wifes pain. Just to write a poem about it.