regarding some deleted poem...	23-May-07/3:12 AM
This is an ace argument for the Iraq war.
Re: Atlantis Destroyed by Sasha	2-Jun-07/3:27 PM
Rather good. A couple of lines I don't like-- the morning mused/ tried to speak is too abstract and beneath an air where humans did not speak is a touch convoluted. You don't actually have to say something didn't happen (i.e humans didn't speak) in a poem because it doesn't happen by the fact of it not being written of. I like the canes bit.
Re: Barking Bargain by Dovina	2-Jun-07/3:32 PM
The final verse doesn't really make sense. It parses as: Was the loss he came out for greater than the loss which was offered.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Jun-07/3:38 PM
Godawful maudlin sentiment. The number of pomes I read on here that are just a string of overwrought cliches; darkness, grief, tears, drowning sorrow. Pity is not spelt pitty. And at the end the spelling goes terribly awry. Have the -10- of shame.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Jun-07/3:38 PM
This is not a senryu, it is a bollocks.
Re: Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta	2-Jun-07/3:42 PM
Don't like. Every so often someone posts a poem which pretty much lists different colours. I did it my self once. It just doesn't work.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Jun-07/1:45 PM
The gibberings of an idiot.
Re: [Gasp]{last letter, first letter} by sca	16-Jun-07/1:49 PM
There isn't a whole lot of point in having the end letter of a line and the letter at the beginning of the next line the same. I understand it was an allpoetry challenge. It was a stupid one. It works for the s's sonically but y at the end of a word has a different sound to a y used at the beginning of a word. When you do these challenges things seem kind of forced also.
Re: bitten {one liner} by sca	16-Jun-07/1:53 PM
enough with the redundant parentheses. and shouldn't it be a firefly presuming the firefly is the 'he' part of the simile
Re: Call Someone Right Away by jessicazee	16-Jun-07/1:58 PM
I like the voice. I like the way you throw the last line too.
Re: No-Strings by sca	16-Jun-07/2:02 PM
No need for the damn it bit. The third verse is the weakest by far so I'd shelve it. Other than that sweet in a kind of naive pimply way.
Re: Beslan by Ranger	16-Jun-07/2:17 PM
I don't really know what a holy minor fall is, I think you mean a pun on minor as a child and minor in music but to what end I'm not sure. Also try and avoid cliches like coming gloom crumbling tomb. Other than that good. Some of the phrasing is quite complicated but good. The poem is strongest where you explore the physical nature of the balalaika and play with the metaphor.
Re: The kissing chair incident by Stephen Robins	16-Jun-07/2:24 PM
I'm not sure if I'm reading this right. Were you one of the chinless wondren responsible for the perming of frizzled hairs.
Re: Dixon Country Store, Kentucky by Dovina	16-Jun-07/2:28 PM
Mentioning may twice in a couple of lines is inelegant. Otherwise perfectly fine.
Re: Temptation by nicole081083	16-Jun-07/2:30 PM
lustful temptation? burning sensation? is this about VD.
Re: leaves of clover by lmp	16-Jun-07/2:35 PM
I think verses 2,3,4 are really well written the overall story from then on gets a bit daft though. N.B. I don't think wreck rhymes with nect'r whichever way you strangle it.
Re: Between two Truths by Dovina	16-Jun-07/2:44 PM
Give up on the trite musings on God and religion.
Re: intricate babbling by eunique	31-Jul-07/1:54 PM
Haiku don't tend to have many syllables to play with so I would lose 'you'. As haiku are supposed to have two intersecting images I would say third line should read 'a stone thrown' to seperate it from the turbulent heart fragile body image.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jul-07/1:55 PM
They are pretty godawful these towelheads. -10-
Re: Proctor, the patient must be beaten. by Y2kSlamPoet	31-Jul-07/1:58 PM
Probably. 'who had turned silent in order to achieve the illusion of Zen' amused me though.