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Dixon Country Store, Kentucky (Free verse) by Dovina
Breakfast of biscuits, sausage and eggs, coffee and talk about tractors and drought. No one can figure weather like this, maybe in August, but never in May. No rain in three weeks and none in the clouds, hotter than ever for April or May; and to top it all off, as if earth were revamping hard frost when the hay was just budding. Twenty acres of soybeans planted again, milo seed dead in the dust. We might have had hay if it weren’t for the frost, corn holding on, but hardly for long. Stories like this are of interest to me, but for them it means college or not for the kids, to live on the farm or dig coal in the ground, abiding in heaven or moving to hell. Sunny days beside fields, forests and creeks, I pedal in safety from lightning and hail, a visitor only, not to remain, in a window of health between working and death.

Up the ladder: A Civil Saving Strain
Down the ladder: Why Daddy?

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.2384057
Overall Rank: 4045
Posted: June 9, 2007 2:29 PM PDT; Last modified: June 9, 2007 2:29 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 | 11-Jun-07/9:35 AM | Reply
my favorite one so far in the series.

to me, a cycling tour is a great way to see the way of life in areas like this. the pace is slow enough to allow it to sink in, slow enough to really get "done" with something before a new thing comes along to try and understand.

i imagine this is the conversation you heard around you as you ate before heading out, a "fly on the wall" perspective, on the "outside looking in", etc. etc.

well done. the use of "May" only 2 lines apart (lines 4 & 6) is a little distracting. I don't know if you could use a different word choice (seasonal rather than monthly) for the first reference. or maybe these are actual quotes...
[9] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 | 11-Jun-07/9:41 AM | Reply
i looked up milo seed since i was unfamiliar with it. used a lot in birdseed mixes. is it used basically as a soil enriching crop for planting the "real" crop of wheat, etc.?
[n/a] Dovina @ 204.8.187.74 > lmp | 11-Jun-07/2:22 PM | Reply
I changed S2, L2 to “heat like we don’t get til August;” that gives ia bit of southern drawl and does away with the duplicated word.
[9] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 > Dovina | 12-Jun-07/9:17 AM | Reply
no ya didn't. i think ya gotta "accept" your revision for it to go into effect.

not sure if that revision would really work anyway; then you'd be repeating "August" two lines away from the first instance.

I actually like the S2 L2 line, so instead maybe focus on S1 L4.
maybe it could be something like: "maybe late summer, but not early spring."

be looking for some change, at any rate...
[n/a] Dovina @ 72.161.151.195 > lmp | 13-Jun-07/10:02 AM | Reply
I changed it on my computer only, not on poemranker. Anyway, your suggestion is better.
[10] Skamper @ 202.6.128.23 | 11-Jun-07/3:57 PM | Reply
I like this especially the last stanza, it has quite a lazy feel to it, and I found it quite a matter-of-fact read. Like I guess they take whatever comes along as part of their life.
[n/a] Dovina @ 72.161.151.195 > Skamper | 13-Jun-07/10:06 AM | Reply
That's the way folks in the country of Kentucky are: matter-of-fact. And superstitious too. their lives depend on the weather, as the folks in Greensburg, Kansas, will tell you. Eighty percent of the ones that survived the tornado lost their homes.
[9] ALChemy @ 71.68.46.177 | 15-Jun-07/8:59 AM | Reply
The last line is killer. You could almost call it a prose poem.
[7] richa @ 85.210.32.212 | 16-Jun-07/2:28 PM | Reply
Mentioning may twice in a couple of lines is inelegant. Otherwise perfectly fine.
[n/a] Dovina @ 72.161.233.65 > richa | 16-Jun-07/3:47 PM | Reply
Yep, it's already been mentioned. Gunna do sumpin bout it.
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