Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Barking Bargain (Free verse) by Dovina
From eastbound cyclists, wise and hard, the westbound learn of thunder and wind, of coral snakes, tics, and the dogs of Kentucky. “They come out barking,” I was told in Virginia, “and if you’re not careful, defensive and brave, grab hold of your leg, and they don’t want to play.” “You need to keep pepper spray, acid, or rocks,” and one even hinted he carries a gun, I figured for comfort, but maybe for fun. Now, I’ve been in Kentucky a week and a half, so forgive if a drawl slips from lips on a roll, and a yarn from a farm along Jack Turner Holler. No weapon had I, not even a rock, When a mutt came out and barked as they said. I’d have left him behind if not pedaling uphill. I said, “You’re a nice dog, I know that you are,” and continued a monolog, cheery and tender. a duet with his snarls and snaps. For a moment, eyes met on a line between species. He bought it, I think, appeared to agree, seemed to say if I’d scratch him, my face he would lick. But then mistrust arose in his eyes, he’d been duped and turned angry, my friendship a sham, and came at my leg with a growl and saliva. Just about then the uphill crested, I shifted a gear, sped downward in fear, and left him there running, panting and sad. So ends a story of one who would bargain, to buy from a dog fewer fang punctured legs in exchange for a pat or even my lunch, and one who concluded the matter uncertain, too much of a threat, too little to trust, as he stood there watching his prey get away, then turned back to wonder, if dogs think that way, which loss was greater — the one he came out for or the one that was offered.

Up the ladder: Sequence
Down the ladder: Better Things

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 30
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.2
Weighted score: 5.1430435
Overall Rank: 5397
Posted: June 1, 2007 6:39 PM PDT; Last modified: June 1, 2007 6:39 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[8] richa @ 85.210.15.203 | 2-Jun-07/3:32 PM | Reply
The final verse doesn't really make sense. It parses as: Was the loss he came out for greater than the loss which was offered.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.227.134.94 > richa | 4-Jun-07/8:31 AM | Reply
Yes, that’s another way of saying the same thing. But don’t you think the precision needed to make sense of it has already been said in the poem?
[8] richa @ 85.210.15.203 > Dovina | 4-Jun-07/9:15 AM | Reply
I parsed it to show you it didn't make sense. If the parsed version is what you meant to say what does 'the loss he came out for or the loss he was offered' refer to. And whilst you are at it you could tell me what the 'too much of a threat, too little to trust' line refers to.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.227.134.94 > richa | 4-Jun-07/10:04 AM | Reply
The dog did not come out for a loss; he came out to bark or to bite. I think you know that and wish to antagonize, or maybe I should be as precise as you always are.

“too much of a threat, too little to trust,” is the dog’s conclusion that friendship with the cyclist is too much of a threat and that she is untrustworthy.
[8] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 | 4-Jun-07/4:25 AM | Reply
Nice idea, it seems a bit bulky - prosaic in areas. I rather like the final stanza though, it makes perfect sense to me.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.227.134.94 > Ranger | 4-Jun-07/8:30 AM | Reply
You realize, I hope, that this is a part of a series by a bicyclist on her way from Atlantic to Pacific. The “bulk,” I think, is necessary to put a simple dog attack into the larger picture.
[7] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 | 5-Jun-07/1:52 PM | Reply
I caught on immediately that you may be writing a series... are they all going to be "over-the-hill" plots, or will things change by the time the great prarie land opens before those handlebars? (not really asking for spoilers.)

i agree with Ranger; this does seem a bit overstated and bulky for the subject. there are several parts that are awkward to read and follow.

the closing stanza, while it is clear what the intent was, could be misread as richa pointed out. the dog did not come out for a loss, so perhaps it should read:
"which loss was greater - that which he sought
or that which he refused."

i do look forward to more in this series and it seems you have a long road ahead if the pace that has been set stays even.
[n/a] Dovina @ 70.157.109.220 > lmp | 5-Jun-07/3:10 PM | Reply
I think you and ranger need to pedal these Kedntucky mountains to appreciate the "bulk" of dog attacks and my apparent overstatement of the problem.

Your solution to the last stanza still has the dog running after a loss. Anyway, the point is overwrought by all involved.

Yes, I will not be writing about hills when in Kansas, and I hope to keep this series going as the trip progresses.

Thanks for your comment.
[7] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 > Dovina | 7-Jun-07/3:38 PM | Reply
I *have* biked some pretty decent hills, but not in Ked-n-tucky or Kentucky either. also have fled more than a few doggies that saw my calves like something out of a old Bugs Bunny cartoon: roast poultry riding a bike. i suppose that's the advantage of the old 2 foot bike pumps instead of these little 6 inch ones they make these days; they used to make a pretty decent baton across a would-be biter's snout.

you are correct about my solution not fixing the problem, and the issue is being overwrought, flogged, and re-hashed overmuch. i do look forward to the upcoming works in this series.
210 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001