poemranker ::intricate babbling by eunique

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Haiku № 153361

intricate babbling

by eunique

Member since 2007 · Posted 28 Jul 2007 · Edited 28 Jul 2007 · 1 comment

you turbulent heart give this fragile body rest a stone's throw away

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mean 4.00 weighted 4.95 rank 8752 views 125 View voting details →

2 votes so far. Yours would make 3.2 votes so far

1 comment

[8] richa 31-Jul-07/1:54 PM Reply
Haiku don't tend to have many syllables to play with so I would lose 'you'. As haiku are supposed to have two intersecting images I would say third line should read 'a stone thrown' to seperate it from the turbulent heart fragile body image.