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intricate babbling (Haiku) by eunique you turbulent heart
give this fragile body rest
a stone's throw away
Up the ladder:
Little Girl Sue
Down the ladder:
wishlist
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: July 28, 2007 7:57 PM PDT; Last modified: July 28, 2007 8:06 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9525743 Overall Rank: 8866 Comments:
[8]
richa @ 85.210.158.56
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31-Jul-07/1:54 PM
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Reply
Haiku don't tend to have many syllables to play with so I would lose 'you'. As haiku are supposed to have two intersecting images I would say third line should read 'a stone thrown' to seperate it from the turbulent heart fragile body image.
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