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Between two Truths (Free verse) by Dovina
I’ve pedaled a swath of southern hills they call the Bible Belt. Saints and sinners defined by creed, the kinds of churches like colors of cars. Cigarettes are always welcome, and beer’s against the law, but a house in Butler holler gives comfort from the cross, Southern Comfort on the rocks. Here I find a sweet relief. Jesus and home folk hear it all, and know a truth a preacher taught, but not the one He brought. I came to bring you life, He said, but dogma holds them back, holding forth the word of church rejecting one great offer.

Up the ladder: post-rock messiah
Down the ladder: Questions for CLS

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.6666665
Weighted score: 5.4482355
Overall Rank: 2960
Posted: June 15, 2007 8:24 AM PDT; Last modified: June 15, 2007 8:24 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] ALChemy @ 71.68.46.177 | 15-Jun-07/8:54 AM | Reply
I don't like the simile "the kinds of churches like colors of cars" I assume you mean because there's lots of different car colors and there's lots of different churches but it just lacks your usual eccentric wit.

Also "beer’s against the law" is just not true.

The rest I found interesting and well done.
[n/a] Dovina @ 72.161.151.195 > ALChemy | 15-Jun-07/2:08 PM | Reply
Would "in churches colored as cars" be eccentric enough?

Most Kentucky counties are "dry," where beer cannot be legally sold. You can bring it in though, and I assume that's what you mean. I find it unique that cigarettes are legal everywhere in the south including public places and the churches find that just hunky dorewy.
[8] deleted user @ 64.140.228.3 | 16-Jun-07/10:31 AM | Reply
A very good read Dovina, although I do agree with Al on L4 in the first stanza. I assume you like the alliteration of the simile as it is. Also, if you changed L4 in the second stanza to something like, "gives solice from the cross" you could escape the double use of comfort. Just some thoughts. I find the last stanza very Emily Dickinson like.
[n/a] Dovina @ 72.161.233.65 > deleted user | 16-Jun-07/3:30 PM | Reply
I was trying for a pun on the drink "Southern Comfort" but maybe it's too funny for the subject.
[8] deleted user @ 64.140.228.180 > Dovina | 17-Jun-07/9:30 AM | Reply
I caught that right off--its great line and not at all too funny for the subject--although the meaning might escape our British brethren.
[8] Skamper @ 202.6.130.10 | 16-Jun-07/10:58 AM | Reply
I hate to be a band-wagon jumper but I agree with the other two. I like the whole write apart from the cars/churches...they don't seem to work together.
[n/a] Dovina @ 72.161.233.65 > Skamper | 16-Jun-07/3:36 PM | Reply
Would you prefer "styles in worship like designer jeans"?
[8] drnick @ 216.144.215.157 | 16-Jun-07/12:34 PM | Reply
Well call me crazy, but I do like the fourth line; it's a good comparison because much like the colors of cars, the kind of church is a preference of what is basically all the same thing. Very nice!
[n/a] Dovina @ 72.161.233.65 > drnick | 16-Jun-07/3:33 PM | Reply
That makes two of us facing a small army. Lock arms brother, here they come.
[n/a] richa @ 85.210.32.212 | 16-Jun-07/2:44 PM | Reply
Give up on the trite musings on God and religion.
[n/a] Dovina @ 72.161.233.65 > richa | 16-Jun-07/3:26 PM | Reply
The "one great offer" isn't trite. My musings - maybe.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 79.65.186.161 > richa | 12-Sep-07/3:41 PM | Reply
This morning I entered my drawing room and saw that someone had left a Bible on the chaise longue. Trembling, I opened that Book at a random page, and was confronted by this:
--------------------
[1 Samuel 5:6] The LORD's hand was heavy upon the people of Ashdod and its vicinity; he brought devastation upon them and afflicted them with tumors.
[7] When the men of Ashdod saw what was happening, they said, "The ark of the god of Israel must not stay here with us, because his hand is heavy upon us and upon Dagon our god."
[8] So they called together all the rulers of the Philistines and asked them, "What shall we do with the ark of the god of Israel?" They answered, "Have the ark of the god of Israel moved to Gath." So they moved the ark of the God of Israel.
[9] But after they had moved it, the LORD's hand was against that city, throwing it into a great panic. He afflicted the people of the city, both young and old, with an outbreak of tumors.
[10] So they sent the ark of God to Ekron. As the ark of God was entering Ekron, the people of Ekron cried out, "They have brought the ark of the god of Israel around to us to kill us and our people."
[11] So they called together all the rulers of the Philistines and said, "Send the ark of the god of Israel away; let it go back to its own place, or it will kill us and our people." For death had filled the city with panic; God's hand was very heavy upon it.
[12] Those who did not die were afflicted with tumors, and the outcry of the city went up to heaven.
--------------------

That's the New International Version. Probably most amusing is the 21st Century King James version, which substitutes "hemorroids" for "tumors", and contains my favourite Bible quote of all time:

[1 Samuel 5:9] And it was so that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction; and He smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had hemorrhoids in their secret parts.

As if hemorroids in their secret parts (as opposed to where, exactly?) wasn't punishment enough, in a final act of spite the Lord demands a guilt offering from the Philistines consisting of "Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden mice" (1 Samuel 6:4). Firstly, I can't think of anything worse to model out of Gold than a hemorrhoid (apart from a tumour, perhaps); and Secondly, how can anyone of non-demented moral intelligence read guff like that and call it gospel?
[n/a] Dovina @ 75.82.86.162 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 12-Sep-07/8:14 PM | Reply
I wish you would read the context of a verse before using it as basis for a sermon. The Lord did not demand a final act of spite from the Philistines. It was the priests of Dagon who suggested sending golden objects as gifts to appease the Israelites. I think it’s funny they chose hemorrhoids, but that’s part of a story, not the Gospel. And gold can be melted down. You can send it to me in any form you wish. Nice to find you reading the Word.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 87.84.68.242 > Dovina | 13-Sep-07/3:18 AM | Reply
I'm extremely disappointed (and ashamed at having not read preceding verses) that it wasn't God who made them build the golden hemorrhoids. Chiefly because it's less funny now. But I am at least cheered by your apparent attempts at making excuses for Bible verses that are so obviously beyond Thunderdome. Just "a story, not the Gospel"... what are you implying? That the hemorrhoid plague verses aren't, from The Bible's point of view, meant to be taken literally? That they're just made up? Why include such a bizarre, sick story in the first place? I can understand using parables to teach subtle moral lessons (or whatever) but this is clearly not a parable. What can divine hemorrhoid plagues teach us about life?

This is what I think: the normal, healthy reaction to a story like that is a mixture of revulsion and derision. That would probably be your reaction if you'd never heard of Christianity before. You can prove me wrong at once by stating unambiguously that you agree the hemorrhoid plague story is stupid and childish; that it was obviously made up by men, not God; and that it ought to constitute a serious stain on The Bible's reputation.
[n/a] Dovina @ 71.138.165.108 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 14-Sep-07/2:12 PM | Reply
The book of I Samuel rings more like history than parable. I can’t imagine any theological value in these hemorrhoids. But it’s easy to imagine gut-wrenching laughter from Israelites when they received them. They must have at least grinned at the funny choice of shape for a gift of gold sent by those humiliated Philistines. And they must have grinned again at seeing their enemy recognize the fact that they, the Israelites, had won. Perhaps they also felt empathy, for they too had been humiliated in times past, akin to one who admits his mistake, an act of recognized imperfection in which the Lord is pleased.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 79.65.186.161 > Dovina | 15-Sep-07/2:50 AM | Reply
1 Samuel reads like the ramblings of a drugged horse.
[n/a] Dovina @ 71.138.165.108 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 15-Sep-07/4:57 PM | Reply
Spoken like a hemorrhoidal Philistine who has just entered the temple of Dagon and found the granite arms of his god broken off and all he can think to do is get rid of that dammed Ark.
[8] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 | 20-Jun-07/3:42 PM | Reply
S2 L4/L5... the repeat of "comfort" is not as strong as it could be. maybe L4 starts "offers sanctuary ...". I would also end with a colon on L4 to deliver L5.

an interesting look at a subculture of the US that i struggle to comprehend. i really believe i would have a hard time living there...

so what's around the bend and over the next hill?

[8] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 > lmp | 20-Jun-07/3:47 PM | Reply
looks like that same line bothered others also.

agree with others also on the church/cars, except i think it works. it could be better not so much as colors of cars, but makes or models of cars. tho' i reckon theyr'll be a lotta ford pickups. maybe just "the kinds of churches like kinds of cars."
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