poemranker ::Atlantis Destroyed by Sasha

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Sonnet № 152122

Atlantis Destroyed

Member since 2004 · Posted 1 Jun 2007 · Edited 1 Jun 2007 · 1 comment

Sound drowned on the sereneness of a sea Unstirred and cool as a mortician’s eye That holds pent death in livid memory Behind a cheap blue knockoff of the sky. Then morning tried to speak, but mused in rain. Beneath an air where humans did not speak And rare gulls needed treetops like a cane, A land lay broken like a sculptured Greek. There were no relics left of what had died: A culture girdled to the verge of space That killed itself to stones and never told Of mastered gravity and death denied: The fell aloofness of a priviliged race Where all that mighty fusion had been cold.

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1 comment

[9] richa 2-Jun-07/3:27 PM Reply
Rather good. A couple of lines I don't like-- the morning mused/ tried to speak is too abstract and beneath an air where humans did not speak is a touch convoluted. You don't actually have to say something didn't happen (i.e humans didn't speak) in a poem because it doesn't happen by the fact of it not being written of. I like the canes bit.