Re: Last flight of a goose by Bobjim	19-Sep-06/12:49 PM
Agreed with richa, order it 3,4,1,2. This is legendary :-)
Re: a comment on The Secret by ecargo	19-Sep-06/12:42 PM
You should enter it (assuming the entry fee isn't something like a thousand dollars) - particularly if you can include Selkie in your collection. Nothing ventured, nothing gained indeed - and you might well surprise yourself :-) Do you write fiction other than poetry?
Re: a comment on The Secret by ecargo	19-Sep-06/12:39 PM
Ah, I thought you were being specific - a secret miscarriage. I was quite concerned by the last line (on this reading) though - I mean, how many dead babies had been buried?! And were they all yours or were there - God forbid - prawnes inamongst the corpses too? Question: was there a prawn unit in the war, or indeed, in any war?
Re: a comment on The Secret by ecargo	19-Sep-06/12:34 PM
True, but you have to go abroad to get people to notice it...
Re: Jose Streets by SupremeDreamer	19-Sep-06/12:29 PM
Argh! The curse of the "'n" strikes again! I know, I know, I'm a Queen's English snob, I'll get over it one day... Anyway, I quite liked the story but struggled to get the beat to it. ecargo's better at this than me, but I do think it wants reworking, or maybe just reclassifying. Done as prose it would seem very akin to the monologue introduction to a character story (does need to be spoken though). Decent enough, let me know if you do any edits of this; I'd be interested to read :-)
Re: a comment on Week End Justification by half.italian	19-Sep-06/8:11 AM
Dammit, I must have been slow-thinking recently. More so than usual, anyway. There's most certainly a pun in here - 'weakened justification', relating to the excesses of stanza 2 - and if there isn't, there should be. Upping the score for that, and also because every time I read this the last two lines get more and more fun.
Re: Head Exploding Mark 2 by pink_escape	19-Sep-06/8:06 AM
Genius title.
Re: Fare Price (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20	19-Sep-06/8:05 AM
If I remember rightly, I quite liked the original. Decent enough edit, although I can never quite be sure whether you're religious or not.
Re: Constipation by colbaby	19-Sep-06/8:01 AM
Oh, how I laughed. I thought it was only the British who were allowed this sort of humour.
Re: Pale Blue by MacFrantic	19-Sep-06/7:59 AM
Oh, I must have missed this when it was posted. Nice, stanzas 2 and 3 especially. Could do with working on the stresses a bit.
Re: a comment on Final Goregasm by creepshow	19-Sep-06/7:57 AM
Chips with that, please.
Re: Staring through you by creepshow	19-Sep-06/7:56 AM
Nasty poems work best with a solid structure for guidance. This, although undeniably nasty, could do with being structured. As it is, it reads like a stop-start collection of thoughts - which doesn't flow very well. By the way, do you really do all this?
Re: Sublime by nightowl	19-Sep-06/7:52 AM
Decent enough, could do with having the metre worked on though. I'd make the second line consistent with the internal rhymes of the other three. 'Companion/champion' is nice.
Re: The Secret by ecargo	19-Sep-06/7:50 AM
This is a miscarriage poem, right? You've got an odd timing in here - I can make most of it fit, but the first line throws it somewhat. With a slow reading it fits, but I found it still a little awkward. Are you entering the WWA?
Re: a comment on The Secret by ecargo	19-Sep-06/7:45 AM
Damn my British citizenship!
Re: Morning Glory by moyah8	18-Sep-06/6:59 AM
'...and that's when I swore I saw the grim reaper' had me laughing aloud. I'm not sure if you're intending for this to be a 'vulgar' poem like the South Parkers here, or if it's meant in seriousness. Also, your username made me wonder if it's some kind of horus8 tribute.
Re: weather poem part 7: a short, sudden gust by nypoet22	18-Sep-06/6:53 AM
'Weather' works fine as a verb in the last line; I read it that way the first time round. You might want to think about making the title a little more revealing - perhaps twisting round the Oscar Wilde quote 'The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about' (assuming I remembered the quote correctly). Of course, you run the risk of having a title longer than the poem that way.
Re: Howl For Clarity (for Jeff Buckley) by Bachus	16-Sep-06/2:51 AM
Godly (man and poem)
Re: The nymph steals the farm-son by <~>	16-Sep-06/2:47 AM
Sweet, nearly cute :-)
Re: Week End Justification by half.italian	16-Sep-06/2:42 AM
Not convinced by the use of 'rubber' as a verb, other than that it's pretty clear. I finished work for the summer yesterday, so I think this will apply tonight :-D Cool ending, btw