| Re: a comment on The Adulterous by Caducus |
1-Apr-03/7:43 AM |
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Thats gross man, now gentlemen PLEASE, your making me wanna puke.
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| Re: Guess Who? by Nagi |
1-Apr-03/6:02 AM |
Is this about bushmeister?
it could be. 8 if it is
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| Re: ForMyFriend, Joneel by Luv2write |
1-Apr-03/5:50 AM |
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| Re: A comment for Me (Aj) from a hottie by ChunkyHunkyMonkey |
1-Apr-03/5:48 AM |
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| Re: A comment for Me (Aj) from a hottie by ChunkyHunkyMonkey |
1-Apr-03/5:47 AM |
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| Re: Children by JustLin |
1-Apr-03/5:45 AM |
Children are lovely.
with a nice chianti and some fava beans.
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| Re: fever by <~> |
1-Apr-03/5:44 AM |
fever in the morning,
fever running through my veins...you give me fever.
bom bom bom, you give me fever,
fever all through the night.
Sorry Z, Elvis fit over, top haiku.
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| Re: A Sepcial Someone by JustLin |
1-Apr-03/5:43 AM |
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| Re: Offence by Stephen Robins |
1-Apr-03/5:40 AM |
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| Re: you will feel by nentwined |
28-Mar-03/8:42 AM |
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Scenes of full metal jacket emerged
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| Re: Gone by Katie2 |
27-Mar-03/9:33 AM |
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It just don't work as a poem, as a lyric with a chorus maybe.
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| Re: a comment on I Miss You by Birdman42s |
27-Mar-03/6:12 AM |
God your such a coward thats twice i've found you slagging me off, do you realize that you look like a 2 faced twat moaning all the time.
I prefer to encourage people there is a way of saying something, you are a selective critic who 99% of the time berates for sadistic kicks, the other 1% of you is all man.
Birdman, ignore this sorry scrag end of humanity he's the bits of shit left over after god finished humanity.
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| Re: By the way... by sk8boardandpoems |
26-Mar-03/9:15 AM |
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also this is subject matter suicide, delete it, its painful.
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| Re: By the way... by sk8boardandpoems |
26-Mar-03/9:14 AM |
waaaayyyyy to long.
try starting to write easy, short stuff
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| Re: Depression by stacylynn_3 |
26-Mar-03/9:07 AM |
Liked what you done with this, it sounds raw and from the heart, that i am sure of. The light my friend is your eyes, open them and you will be found.
Think about it.
heres a fat number to hug 8
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| Re: One More Mile by marvelis |
26-Mar-03/9:03 AM |
Oh yeah, the vegas thang is all wrong go to Camp David and sell dictionarys to the democrats, do something about George 'Dubya'.
I'll pay you.
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| Re: One More Mile by marvelis |
26-Mar-03/9:00 AM |
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Being a rhyme obsessive myself I have recently calmed the whole rhyme thing down and gone for imagery. I think ZZinnia has made the one point you should listen too. I think your quite talented but this dont really do anything for me and I blame the 1st line, the rest of its okay but okay isn't what you do normally, is it? (6)
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| Re: Don't End it Again by Freethinker1602 |
26-Mar-03/8:57 AM |
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when the fuck will we ever learn? hey ? huh? love is the assassin of happiness espeicially firstlove, love hurts like a pair of brand new shoes, move on, shag her sister regardless of what sex you are.
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| Re: My Hart by aNgElThAtLiVeS |
26-Mar-03/8:48 AM |
Thank you for taking the time in commenting on my stuff. This poem needs loads of work, but I am impressed by the passion you show in here, you just need to get it into persective, condense the poem, make it breathe, you are stifling all of that by trying to force too much on the reader.
Try again, good luck.
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| Re: I Miss You by Birdman42s |
26-Mar-03/8:45 AM |
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you lose it a bit from : and what hurts, there is repetition, otherwise the sentiment has its heart in the right place 6
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