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My Hart (Free verse) by aNgElThAtLiVeS
Not again, this aganizing pain. Let it not be. This pain deep in my hart. Why does this happen when I look in his eyes. Does he not notice, does he not care? I question myself so many times. I fear when I tell him he won't feel the same and turn away. I can't let that happen. Night and day I dream of him, holding me tight and saying those words I want to hear, but then I'm back to where I started, back in reality and not my fantacy world. This is it, this is the day I say it to your face. I'm walking in the room, I see him. I'm walking closer closer. My hart pounding with rage. If I turn now I could get away, NO I must say it. Oh I feel like dieing. I'm screaming inside. I stand in front of him, staring into his eyes. Not again, not again this pain so bad I could cry. I can't even talk. He' s smiling. Don't smile, not yet. I put my hand in his. He doesn't let go. Here it comes. "I love you", oh my god I said it. He hasn't let go. He doesn't stop smiling..... Then I'm back and the day starts again.

Up the ladder: Bizzare
Down the ladder: I'm Pissed

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 1.4
Weighted score: 4.5708694
Overall Rank: 12610
Posted: March 25, 2003 1:19 PM PST; Last modified: March 25, 2003 1:19 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Bobjim @ 217.40.231.55 | 25-Mar-03/1:43 PM | Reply
Hart is a wild woodland deer ( or something).
[5] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 26-Mar-03/8:48 AM | Reply
Thank you for taking the time in commenting on my stuff. This poem needs loads of work, but I am impressed by the passion you show in here, you just need to get it into persective, condense the poem, make it breathe, you are stifling all of that by trying to force too much on the reader.
Try again, good luck.
[0] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.106 | 26-Mar-03/9:36 AM | Reply
If it were up to me, I'd have you hung by your own intestines and filled with irate fire ants for this poeme. Seriously, what about this is supposed to be a poem? It's just a bunch of obsessive cliches blocked into paragraphs and liberally seasoned with misspellings. Please go and kill yourself now.
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